Are you a fixer? When someone comes to you with a problem, do you fix it? Just tell them what to do, how to live, what expectations God has? I've been a fixer, and I know a lot of fixers. At this point in my life, I don't talk to those people anymore. Here is what I have found.
1. Most issues (probably all) are beyond your fixing. If the person can be fixed by you just telling them something surface, they wouldn't need your help. Think about it, if you can just say "well love God", what would they need you for? Would they really be struggling deep down with an issue you can solve with a few verses?
2. You have baggage, and often we speak from our own baggage. Without talking to the person, investing in the person and working to get into the issues, you have no idea what the real issue is. You hear a few buzz words, and then relate them to your own experiences. Your experience and the person's experiences are not the same. Don't make the assumption that what fixed you will fix them.
3. What are you trying to do. Are you trying to fix the person? There is a messiah available, and you are not Him. You can't fix a person, people need a divine healer.
So why do people come to us with issues? What do they want? Do they want fixed? No. They want someone to come along side of them. I think most people know the answers already and just need someone to talk to, to help them work through it. They want to answer questions, they want to evaluate, to look at and to examine their own soul. I think this is part of the reason we don't commune with our soul. Every time we begin to reach down in our own soul, someone gives us a surface fix. The person never reaches down into the soul, we never reach down into our soul. The soul remains unopened and the garbage never comes out.
Check out christancourses.com and watch Dr. Larry Crabb on Soul Care, he talks about this in great, great detail.
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