When You Don't Know What to Do (Or When It's Just Not Working)

There are days when I feel like I have no idea what I should do. Some days I wonder if there is really anything I can do. Let me explain. As a High School teacher, there is often a struggle. Some students just aren't interested in what you are teaching. There are a variety of reasons for this, and for the most part, I knew this was the case. I teach an English class, and some students don't like English. There is a lot of reading involved, and most students don't like reading. My job is to get them to do things they don't really want to do. There are some days when I am successful and many days when I have no idea what to do.

I also am the interim pastor at a small church here in Iowa. The church is small, the town is small, and the surrounding communities are small. The church has been through some hard times with losing pastors, plus Covid. All of these things compounded making it hard to see growth in the church. I have studied church growth, and I have tried many of the things I have learned over the years to build and grow a church. We have seen some people come and go over the two years I have been there. I am just not sure what to do.

What do you do when you don't know what to do, or what you thought you should do isn't working? Maybe it is in your job, you are not getting the results you want. Maybe it is in your personal life, you can't figure out what you are doing wrong. Maybe you can't find a way to get your health to improve or your finances. There are lots of areas where things begin to go wrong and we can't figure out the right answer. What do you do? What do I do?

Sometimes, I have to put my 'life coach' hat on with myself. As an experienced life coach, I can tell you that this is true for everyone at every time. We all wish we could get consistent results every time we did something. We all have these struggles in multiple areas of our lives. The fact is, life is not a constant. That means that it doesn't stay the same, life is a variable. There are so many things that change the parameters that you can't just expect a 1 to 1 ratio. We want life to be like a vending machine. You put the money in, and the drink comes out. Life is more like a slot machine. You put the money in, pull the handle, and hope for the best.

What do we do? First, don't give up. When you are doing the right thing, but not getting the results, don't quit. If you are trying to get healthy, eat right and exercise. You won't get healthy if you give up and eat junk food. It may take longer, it may be harder, but don't quit. In some areas, there are shades of gray, like teaching high school or fighting depression. Don't give up, keep doing the right things.

Second, be cautious of shortcuts. If you find a program that promises to fix your problems, it will probably only succeed to separate you from your money. Shortcuts rarely have positive long-term outcomes. It may work in the short term, but things often end up worse than they started. A quick fix is seldom quick or a fix.

Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help. Look for help, find answers. Understand that the road to any improvement will be long and bumpy. As you continue to do the right things, learn as much as you can. Learn about what you are trying to accomplish, see what others have done, and look for principles. Read books, look at data and information, and take classes. Keep learning and finding new answers. It is a long road, it is bumpy and hard, but hard work pays off in the end. Quitting doesn't fix the issue, shortcuts won't fix it, and being impatient won't fix it. The only way to really address the issue is to do the right thing and gain new skills.

Listen, I know it is hard and there is lots of struggle. The only way forward is to keep going forward. Don't give up, and when you get to the end and look back, you will see how far you made it. Along the way, others will be blessed and you will make a strong impact. Keep going, don't quit. You got this.

Effort is a Skill

 As a High School teacher, I have seen how vital, and often rare effort is. I have come to the conclusion that effort is a skill. It has to be learned and instilled. We have assumed that everyone can make an effort, but I am starting to think that isn't true. I think you must be taught how to put forth an effort. In years and decades past, it was assumed we could all put forth a good effort because we were expected to. We learned early and often to put forth an effort. As time has passed, technology has increased and people have more leisure, I think we have passed the tipping point where we can just expect people to know how to put in a good effort.

The expectations have been lowered, the excuses have been made, and the participation trophies have been given out. We have done too much to shelter and protect kids in our modern culture, they don't know how to try. They expect to be given what they want, they want a handout. There is a concerted lack of effort on the part of many of the students. It is more than not caring, it's like they don't even know how to care. They don't understand the reward of hard work, they take little pride in a job well done. They rush through everything and do it halfway so they have more time for idle things.

This is not the case across the board, and there are some who have learned effort. I am not talking about specifics, I am talking only in generalities. I am sure it has also been a slow fade over decades to where we are today. To be honest, there is not going to be an easy fix either. We have arrived at the place we are today be millions of choices over years. It didn't happen overnight and it won't be fixed overnight. The only option we have is to recognize the error and begin to push back the other way. To begin to celebrate hard work. We must return to the day when the heroes are those who do great things, and not internet celebrities and media influencers. The culture can be saved, but it is going to be a long and difficult road back. I for one am worried, because it will take effort, and I am not sure we have enough left to get back.