Friday, January 1, 2016

Goodbye 2015

I don't really like the idea of posting song lyrics, they are the words and poetry of someone else, but in this case I'm going to make an exception. Colton Dixon summed up 2015 too well for me to pass it up.

There are days I've taken more than I can give
And there are choices that I made
That I wouldn't make again
I've had my share of laughter
Of tears and troubled times
This is has been the story of my life

I have won and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

That pretty much sums it up, thanks Colton. The song is Through All of It, and that has been 2015. I came into the year recovering from my surgery and back at work. We made it through the school year, had a pretty good summer. We went back for my 20th class reunion and saw a lot of things I haven't seen in a long time. I think that trip opened a floodgate in me, because I began to slip into a depression towards the latter part of the year. Changing jobs didn't help, I started with Orkin as a Wildlife Tech, it's a cool job but new stuff to learn. New schedule and new expectations.

I have blown it plenty in 2015. In my depression, changing jobs and ignoring any and all emotions that deal with Wyoming, I haven't been the best husband. I didn't treat my wife the way I should have, I didn't get that part right. I'm sorry Elaine. I haven't been the best dad either, sometimes avoiding everyone and staying locked in my room. Sorry kids, I do love you very much.

In 2015, I started going to a counselor, granted I've only gone twice. Going to check my medication and see if I can deal with some of my baggage. I need to be emotionally healthy because I have things to do. I am working with a great group of people starting a new church in Sioux City. Redemption Hill meets on Sunday nights and I think it's going to be an amazing thing. My skill set is slated towards church growth, outreach and discipleship. I want to be as much of a help as I can be in this area. I need to get emotionally healthy so I can be used and be helpful.

So, bring on 2016. It won't be the perfect year but I sure hope I can do better in 2016 than i did in 2015. 

Goals, get my licenses for my job and get trained and be independent. I would love to buy a house this year. I want to get the Mustang back in driving shape (need to get the backend fixed, it met the van recently. New driver in my house). Get the truck fixed up. Finish Postologyism and Confessions of a Depressed Pastor.

Motto for 2016: TBD

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