Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Yoga Pants, Rape Culture and Raising Kids

There is a debate out there right now about yoga pants, you know the skin tight pants women use to wear during exercise are not worn everywhere.  A read an article about a Middle School who requires girls to have a shirt or skirt that is fingertip length to cover their rear.  There are lost of groups who are upset, like the Jezebel organization who says it promotes rape culture to expect women to dress modestly.  These groups say we just need to teach boys to not look.  I have a girl and two boys, so this hits me right where I live, and I want to say, the statement "teach boys not to look" is close to the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

First, people wear "fashion" for people to notice, so if the boys aren't going to look, what is the point of wearing it?  Just from a surface argument, this is a dumb statement.  On a deeper level, there are so many things wrong with the whole situation.  There is so many things wrong with the mindset of these groups that want to chalk boys looking to the establishment of "rape culture".  Let's start with that one.

Rape is not a culture, degrading women is not a culture, it's a form of depravity.  Reality check, you can't pick and choose morality.  When morals are in decline, they all decline.  When pornography becomes acceptable, when sexuality in any situation becomes acceptable, when disrespect and indifference become acceptable, rape will occur.  Bad moral and bad actions breed bad morals and bad actions.  When you expose young boys to sexuality at a young age, you change the way their mind process when it comes to interaction with women.  When you build a culture the depends on how people look and how successful they are sexually, you have put all the ingredients together.  It's not a rape culture, it's a culture of selfish pleasure and self seeking.

In raising my kids, there are things I need to think about.  First all, all the yoga pants promoters, you can say the solution is to teach little boys to behave, but every parent have tried to teach their children to behave, yet there is still crime.  If it was that easy, it would be done.  We are told not to hurt our child's self-esteem, no corporal punishment, but we must teach a boy to disregard a primal instinct that is hard wired into his hormone filled brains.  It's not gonna happen, and the reality when they have done surveys at universities across the country, more than 50% of boys say they would rape a girl if they knew they wouldn't get in trouble.  Boys want sex, and no amount of teaching and training will make them not want sex.  Boys are going to look at girls in yoga pants, it's a fact you can't stop it.

My daughter is not allowed to wear those sorts of clothing out of the house.  It's not even the little boys I'm worried about, it's the adult men who have been shown to try to prey on children.  Face it, we live in a perverse world, so instead of dealing with it, we add to the issue by sending our daughters out to the wolves wearing the things that draw attention of the perverse.  You can say "that's isn't right" or "a girl should be able to wear whatever she wants" but the reality is that we live in a world that if full of evil,  Children starve and suffer and are attacked and trafficked.  Human trafficking exists in the United States, people take kids to sell them into a sex trade that shouldn't exist.  It shouldn't, but it does and we can't ignore it.

As a dad of boys, these groups that say girls should wear what they want and boys just shouldn't look make me angry beyond belief.  This is the equivalence of telling my kids not to eat candy and then sending them to the candy store. Young boys go to school and are surrounded by girls who look much older, more mature and more sexualized that the boys are ready to handle emotionally.  The boys, who mature at a faster rate, are not cognitively or emotionally prepared to deal with the stimulus they are not surrounded.  It completely destroyed the work I try to do as a parent, and these groups have no respect for teachers, administrators and parents of boys who are working hard to raise gentlemen.  They are constantly bombarded by these women's groups that seem to want to destroy males more than elevate women.  It's absurd and I want my daughter no where near these groups, and I can say with much certainty that my wife agrees completely.  My daughter is more than just a frame to put tight clothing on and parade for whatever reason.

It is time for adults to think like adults and less like perverted children.  Let's realize the world is evil, fallen and filled with trials and temptations.  Let's not make it harder on our kids than it already is.  Let them dress like little girls and not like yoga instructors.  By the way, yoga pants are best for yoga studios, not so much for everywhere, all the time.  Just sayin.



    1. Hey, check this out !

  2. Of course we are still friends, and I hope we continue to be friends after I reply. I disagree with some of what you say, not all of it. Yes, rape happens because men are evil and controlling, but saying that the sexualization of society has nothing to do with it is absurd in my opinion. That is like saying obesity is genetic, so eating McDonalds has nothing to do with it. There is not one piece that is to blame, and you can't dismiss the reality of our culture. The issue is sin and depravity, not yoga pants, not rape culture, not control. It's sin and when sin is established, it breeds sin. Now, are you responsible because a guy checks you out? No, but wearing clothing that obviously draws attention to certain parts of the body has that effect. Now, my post was about Middle Schoolers, not adults. There are cognitive processes in place, as well as sexual development to account for in the case I listed, but to come from a Biblical worldview, women are to dress modestly. Bible says so. Will men still rape, yes they are evil and sinful, but to divorce the sexualization of society and of women from the issue is, as I said, absurd.. . In my opinion.

  3. I feel like you didn't read Heidi's full response. Your reply doesn't make sense in context. Or maybe that's just me.
    The yoga pant proponent.

  4. Comparing sexual assault to obesity is offensive. Don't trivialize sexual assault by comparing it to bad habits that make people fat. I can tell you didn't look at an of my sources or do any independent research before developing your decision. And there is really nothing I can do about that. You've made your choice and you've made it while not informing yourself of useful facts about a major issue. Rape is not about sex. The more people try to link the two, the worse you make it for the victims. Keep in mind that countries that require women to be completely clothed have some of the highest levels of sexual violence towards women. By your own argument, rape should be more prevalent in Hawaii where the dress code is bikini. But it's not. It thrives in places where women are already mistreated and turned into property instead of people. Lusty thoughts do not lead to rape. That's ridiculous. Attraction does not lead to rape. When you say things like that, you take blame off of the rapist and stick it square on the victims shoulders. Haven't they been violated enough? I can tell I'm not going to change your mind, which is unfortunate. All I can do is state my case. Please stop linking immodest dress to sexual assault. They do not connect. Immodesty leads to other bad things but rape is not one.

  5. First, I didn't compare rape to sexual assault, I simply pointed out a situation where similar situations exist. Rape exists because man is evil, period. To say rape is not about sex is ignorant, sex is about control, rape is about control, man is evil and seeks to control women through sex and sexual assault. I did look at your research, but that doesn't mean I agree with the research either. The reality is you are making an argument out of something I never made an argument out of. If you read through my blog, never did I say women get raped because of their clothing choices. I never once said rape occurred because a woman wears yoga pants, and frankly I am annoyed that I am told I'm being offensive when I am not sure you read what I wrote, simply what you wanted to see. I said that a culture that degrades women causes rape. I said that rape and the degradation of women is wrong and it's the issue. To say that sex and sexuality in our culture does not often degrade women is ignorant. To say that the prevalent use of pornography that cause men to view women as nothing more than an outlet for sexual gratification doesn't cause rape is ignorant.

    Here is issue #1, women assume they know what is going on inside the brain of a man, when clearly they don't listen. As a man, I understand much better what the impact of the sexualized culture is. You can dismiss what I say because you have done research, but the reality is that it's all tied together. Degradation of women, pervasive sexualization, rape, assault, and the decline of moral standards all stem from the selfishness and sinfulness of humanity. Do yoga pants lead to rape? No, but the root cause of the sexualization of society and the decline of a moral standard all have the same root cause of the sinfulness of man.

    So, for the record and for the last time. Immodest dress does not cause rape. The rampant sexualized culture we have in society CONTRIBUTES to rape, and the over sexualized society in our contry contributes to immodest dress. They are linked because man is sinful.

    Now, my blog is focused on middle school boys, many who are being shaped and imaged by a culture that leads them to have more desire than sense. My blog is about raising kids and the way we are raising kids to be sexual way before they are ready. Over sexualization of children leads to an over sexualized society with leads to a myriad of other issues. The issue of over sexualization leads to assault, as does the degradation and devaluation of women. Those two things often go hand in hand. If you want all my research, I'll have to write another blog.