Jesus gave a list of blessings in the Beattitudes, and I think lately I am filling a few. A lot has happened over the last 8 months. I had worked towards a goal of serving in a church, filling the role of Pastor of Education. I had that role in a couple churches, and I felt like I was where I was suppose to be. It was hard, I struggled in some areas, I had strengths and weaknesses and I was keenly aware of my weaknesses. I went to school, I learned, I went to conferences, I had mentors and coaches, I real magazines, books and blogs. I tried to learn from the best, but it wasn't enough. One day it ended like a gun shot. It was just over, no fanfare, no memorial, not even a goodbye, it was just over.
I did what any man would do in that situation, I found another job. I am actually working two right now, times are hard. I enjoy my jobs, they are not my calling or my passion, but I enjoy what I do, but it's a struggle. I work outside my field, I am trained to be a pastor, an educator and I am, to put it bluntly, a nobody. I am the bottom of the totem pole, I am the "kid". I went from Pastor to kid in the blink of an eye. I don't mind being bossed around, told what to do, but in the part time evening job, I am being told what to do by 20 year olds. I struggle sometimes because I have pride, I have a BA, and MA and more leadership training that this kid has high school credits, yet here I am. Humbled.
I wonder if Paul felt this way. Training to be a leader, a Pharisee with the best training. He becomes a believer and a missionary. He goes to Athens and preaches, they laugh at him and he leaves and goes to Corinth and makes tents. I am sure he enjoyed the work, but he was doing miracles, preaching about Christ, starting churches, and now he is making tents. He tells the Corinthians about a thorn in his flesh, possibly his blindness or the fact he was stuck making tents. Whatever it was, it kept him humble. I don't have a thorn so much, but I have been made humble. I am a nobody with a blog who gets to write. Sure, I have good friends, an amazing wife and awesome children. My life is great, but I never thought I would be where I have found myself. I will try to keep my chin up, knowing this is working for my good to make me more like Christ. I am striving to do ministry where I am, investing in the people around me. Tonight, I was able to share some things that I learned with a young man who is feeling the calling on his life. God has blessed me where I am and I am thankful, but sometimes I miss what I had.
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