Do you feel the weight of the current situation in this country? I wasn't feeling things too bad until July of this year, when I became a statistic. Oh, it's not so bad, at least I had some good company, with close to 10% of the population being unemployed. We have some wonderful friends who gave me a job working in their pizza place, and I was blessed for a few weeks to be able to get some income while I found a full time job with benefits and all that stuff. I would have rather just stayed at the pizza place, but that's not the issue.
Now, here I am with a Master's degree, can't find a place to rent and can't buy a house with the bank loans. I have a job with kids who just fell out of high school, and I feel the weight of the economic situation. It's not fun, and like me, many of you have it bad. More month than money, more debt that income, and more stress than fun. It's not a good place to be, yet I know there is hope.
Remember the poem footprints? I saw one the other day about the line in the sand is when Jesus was dragging me. That is true. I have been carried, pushed, pulls and drug because I haven't had the strength and motivation to stand. Right now I am writing a book, planning 4 or 5 more, starting a non-profit, looking to plant a house church network, trying to coach and beginning to plan a outdoor based novelty company, to make things like wooden and log furniture, laps, pens, desk sets. I am not sure I'll have time to finish any of them, and I am going at this like a blind man in a boxing match, but I'm going for it.
I don't know what the next 4 years are gonna look like, who will be the President, what the economic outlook will be, if I'll have a better job or if I will finish my books (let alone get published). I just know who holds tomorrow, so let's make a deal. You pray for me, I'll pray for you and we will stick together. Oh, and if you have a house I can borrow. . . oh nevermind.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Despair
There is a clinical diagnosis of depression with many, many people struggle with. The feeling down, the feeling blue, even feeling hopeless. Many of us struggle with depression, occasionally feeling down, the feelings of blah. It stinks, it can be chronic and follow you around like a cloud. If you struggle with depression, I pray that you find a way out and find joy again in your life.
There is another feeling that is similar to depression, and sometimes in life it finds us. We lose a job, we love a loved one, we hit a wall, the end of options. We run out of money, out of time, out of luck. An overwhelming feeling of darkness, an ache that goes down into your soul. A pain that shuts down all other emotions, the feelings of despair.
Elijah had despair, he said it was better for him to die, hiding from a queen, fearing for his life, feeling left alone. He was at the end of his rope. He was in the depth of despair. David found himself in despair, his son wanted his throne, his son ends losing his life, and this is not the first time David was in danger. David knew despair, and the book of Psalms is filled with the cries from his heart. Job felt despair, sitting in a pile of ashes, scraping his sores with pieces of broken pottery. These men have all found that place where darkness surrounds them and their soul is weighed down by the weight of fear and pain. They were in the midst of despair.
Perhaps you have felt or are feeling the crushing weight of despair. Perhaps you have lost something, or you have too much of something you don't want. Maybe your depression has built into more depression, crushing you under it's weight until it squeezes all of the hope from your soul. Maybe illness or loss or absence together has crushed your spirit and you feel like all you can do is stare at the wall. Do you feel like you can't get any traction? Do you have goals and dreams and desires, but you can't seem to make anything in your life work? Do you feel like you want to sit in ashes in burlap, alone with nothing being said, just the sound of your tears falling to the ground? Do you connect, can you relate?
The pain has a purpose, and I know that seems hard. As I write these words, I am battling some despair myself, but I know the pain has a purpose. Despair causes us to look upwards, to wish and to hope. Despair can cause us to pray and to seek and to knock. Despair makes us vulnerable and God moves in our lives the most when we are the most hurt, if we will let Him. God will come in and bring hope and faith to our despair and pain, but only if we will allow Him. Too often we tell God to get lost, and He is a gentleman and He will be absent if we tell Him to be absent. Sometimes our selfishness, our need to feel good or feel better will chase away the only cure. We blame God for our despair instead of looking for the purpose of our despair.
Struggle is never welcome, and no one wants to be in the grips of crippling depression. No one wants to feel despair, or to lose hope. No one wants to hurt, but we hurt. Despair will give us an opportunity to find a deeper relationship with our creator. Being in right relationship with God, being close with God, having intimacy with God is much more that having worldly happiness. We can pursue happiness, but we will always be back to despair. It is fleeting, the only real purpose and joy comes from knowing God. Learn to love God through the joy and despair.
There is another feeling that is similar to depression, and sometimes in life it finds us. We lose a job, we love a loved one, we hit a wall, the end of options. We run out of money, out of time, out of luck. An overwhelming feeling of darkness, an ache that goes down into your soul. A pain that shuts down all other emotions, the feelings of despair.
Elijah had despair, he said it was better for him to die, hiding from a queen, fearing for his life, feeling left alone. He was at the end of his rope. He was in the depth of despair. David found himself in despair, his son wanted his throne, his son ends losing his life, and this is not the first time David was in danger. David knew despair, and the book of Psalms is filled with the cries from his heart. Job felt despair, sitting in a pile of ashes, scraping his sores with pieces of broken pottery. These men have all found that place where darkness surrounds them and their soul is weighed down by the weight of fear and pain. They were in the midst of despair.
Perhaps you have felt or are feeling the crushing weight of despair. Perhaps you have lost something, or you have too much of something you don't want. Maybe your depression has built into more depression, crushing you under it's weight until it squeezes all of the hope from your soul. Maybe illness or loss or absence together has crushed your spirit and you feel like all you can do is stare at the wall. Do you feel like you can't get any traction? Do you have goals and dreams and desires, but you can't seem to make anything in your life work? Do you feel like you want to sit in ashes in burlap, alone with nothing being said, just the sound of your tears falling to the ground? Do you connect, can you relate?
The pain has a purpose, and I know that seems hard. As I write these words, I am battling some despair myself, but I know the pain has a purpose. Despair causes us to look upwards, to wish and to hope. Despair can cause us to pray and to seek and to knock. Despair makes us vulnerable and God moves in our lives the most when we are the most hurt, if we will let Him. God will come in and bring hope and faith to our despair and pain, but only if we will allow Him. Too often we tell God to get lost, and He is a gentleman and He will be absent if we tell Him to be absent. Sometimes our selfishness, our need to feel good or feel better will chase away the only cure. We blame God for our despair instead of looking for the purpose of our despair.
Struggle is never welcome, and no one wants to be in the grips of crippling depression. No one wants to feel despair, or to lose hope. No one wants to hurt, but we hurt. Despair will give us an opportunity to find a deeper relationship with our creator. Being in right relationship with God, being close with God, having intimacy with God is much more that having worldly happiness. We can pursue happiness, but we will always be back to despair. It is fleeting, the only real purpose and joy comes from knowing God. Learn to love God through the joy and despair.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Why The SBC
Living in the Northern Mid-West, there isn't a large number of Southern Baptists, which is a shame if you ask me. Part of the issue is the reputation that often the SBC carries. It is often viewed as a group that is crazy or hateful or extreme, or if nothing else, a southern ministries that doesn't belong here in Iowa.
I have also found that even Southern Baptists in Iowa are ashamed of being Southern Baptist. There is often a sense of apology for who we are. It's time to begin to change that perception. We as Southern Baptists should be sharing who we are, how we love and the ministry we do. After all, the cooperative program, Disaster Relief and a commitment to Biblical truth, these things should be used to set people free. We should be committed to Jesus Christ, focused on the gospel and the ministry of reconciliation. In doing so, we should never be ashamed that we do these things as Southern Baptists.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Looking for a job
I never really thought I would be in this situation, but alas here I am. It was my plan to stay at last job indefinably, but God had other plans it seems. Now I am currently not in paid vocational ministry. I had always looked at the stats about all the guys who don't make it in Ministry, and figured I would never be that guy. Today, I am looking for work not in vocational ministry. It is a disheartening thing in many ways, but I know that my ministry career is not over forever.
I know that God will have me plant a house church network or something like it in the days ahead. I have felt that conviction for some time. I know my non-profit ministry has an opportunity to touch people and change lives. I hope to one day get my PhD and teach at a college level in a Christian environment. In the mean time, I have to find a job outside of the field that I always assumed I would be in. Time are lean, ministry jobs are scarce and I am not good with the idea of packing everyone up and moving around again. I can't do that to my family, and I don't want to be one of those guys in ministry that moves every 3 to 6 years.
Pray for us, for me. This is not a place I ever planned to be, and I don't have a lot of skills outside the church walls, but I'm trying. I am hoping I can get something that will pay us enough to give. It's been a challenge, it's been hard but I know that God will take care of us. I just pray He provides a job soon.
I know that God will have me plant a house church network or something like it in the days ahead. I have felt that conviction for some time. I know my non-profit ministry has an opportunity to touch people and change lives. I hope to one day get my PhD and teach at a college level in a Christian environment. In the mean time, I have to find a job outside of the field that I always assumed I would be in. Time are lean, ministry jobs are scarce and I am not good with the idea of packing everyone up and moving around again. I can't do that to my family, and I don't want to be one of those guys in ministry that moves every 3 to 6 years.
Pray for us, for me. This is not a place I ever planned to be, and I don't have a lot of skills outside the church walls, but I'm trying. I am hoping I can get something that will pay us enough to give. It's been a challenge, it's been hard but I know that God will take care of us. I just pray He provides a job soon.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
The Dangers of Community (and blogging)
Years ago I proposed a theory about community in the house church model. At that time, I had a good friend who was working as a Church Plant Movement Missionary, his job was to start a home church movement, not a small task. One of the things that we realized is how hard it is to get people to come to a strangers house for Bible Study.
It's a really straight forward concept, the willingness of an individual to be open to a group is dependent upon that individuals desire to belong to that group. If I want to be part of a group, I am more willing to be open and at risk in that group. I will share about myself, I will risk involvement and I will open my self up to possible hurt. One of the things we have discovered in the house church moment is it's difficult to get people who are not at some level in relationship with the hosts. People don't seem to want to attend a house church if they are unchurched. The unchurched don't have a strong desire to attend a church, otherwise they would. We, unlike China, have ample opportunities for people to attend a church, and those who want to go to church, they do.
All community carries this risk. When you open yourself up to belong to a community, you put yourself at risk, are the individuals in that community going to support you, or are they going to reject or even attack you. For example, I shared some information on a blog and instead of the ensuing conversation being about the topic, I was attacked for the information I shared. I have not been inclined to go back and write anything for that blog since that experience. People have the same things happen at church, clubs, social events, even in groups of peers. When we become open and our desire to belong increases yet we experience negative feedback, our desire to belong decreases. When it does, our willingness to be open decreases and we pull away from that group.
I believe that is the trend we have seen with many of our Christian organizations, and with church. When we as individuals are open in a Christian context about struggles, hurts or failures, often we are attacked, hurts and abused by those we attempted to connect with. This causes a huge decrease in our desire to be part of that group, and therefore our willingness to be open. In the church today, we see people who marginally want to be part of the church, they attend, but they are not open, they do not fellowship or connect. These people are not inclined to join a small group, Sunday School and wouldn't attend a house church.
To make things harder, we often attempt to reach those who have had a negative church experience with a house church model. We have not done real well at doing this, because those individuals have no desire to belong to a church. There is hope however, and there are several house and cell churches who have discovered the secret.
In order to increase an individual's desire to be open, and therefore attend a small gathering, we must find to increase their desire to belong. We have to be the kind of people that others want to spend time with. We need to be friendly, loving and compassionate. The small group that meets in my home is composed of people who I have a great relationship with. I am not meeting with people who I barely know, and the people who don't care for me, they don't attend my small group.
In many ways, we have driven people away from the living water, because they don't want to have to stand next to us. We have to get rid of the model of standing around in our group and waiting for people to show up. We can't expect people to come because we are having church. If they wanted to come to church, they would have shown up by now. We have to go out and build relationships and share and be open with people. When they see they can trust us, they will be more open and have a desire to belong. That gives us the opportunity to share, to care and to disciple.
It's a really straight forward concept, the willingness of an individual to be open to a group is dependent upon that individuals desire to belong to that group. If I want to be part of a group, I am more willing to be open and at risk in that group. I will share about myself, I will risk involvement and I will open my self up to possible hurt. One of the things we have discovered in the house church moment is it's difficult to get people who are not at some level in relationship with the hosts. People don't seem to want to attend a house church if they are unchurched. The unchurched don't have a strong desire to attend a church, otherwise they would. We, unlike China, have ample opportunities for people to attend a church, and those who want to go to church, they do.
All community carries this risk. When you open yourself up to belong to a community, you put yourself at risk, are the individuals in that community going to support you, or are they going to reject or even attack you. For example, I shared some information on a blog and instead of the ensuing conversation being about the topic, I was attacked for the information I shared. I have not been inclined to go back and write anything for that blog since that experience. People have the same things happen at church, clubs, social events, even in groups of peers. When we become open and our desire to belong increases yet we experience negative feedback, our desire to belong decreases. When it does, our willingness to be open decreases and we pull away from that group.
I believe that is the trend we have seen with many of our Christian organizations, and with church. When we as individuals are open in a Christian context about struggles, hurts or failures, often we are attacked, hurts and abused by those we attempted to connect with. This causes a huge decrease in our desire to be part of that group, and therefore our willingness to be open. In the church today, we see people who marginally want to be part of the church, they attend, but they are not open, they do not fellowship or connect. These people are not inclined to join a small group, Sunday School and wouldn't attend a house church.
To make things harder, we often attempt to reach those who have had a negative church experience with a house church model. We have not done real well at doing this, because those individuals have no desire to belong to a church. There is hope however, and there are several house and cell churches who have discovered the secret.
In order to increase an individual's desire to be open, and therefore attend a small gathering, we must find to increase their desire to belong. We have to be the kind of people that others want to spend time with. We need to be friendly, loving and compassionate. The small group that meets in my home is composed of people who I have a great relationship with. I am not meeting with people who I barely know, and the people who don't care for me, they don't attend my small group.
In many ways, we have driven people away from the living water, because they don't want to have to stand next to us. We have to get rid of the model of standing around in our group and waiting for people to show up. We can't expect people to come because we are having church. If they wanted to come to church, they would have shown up by now. We have to go out and build relationships and share and be open with people. When they see they can trust us, they will be more open and have a desire to belong. That gives us the opportunity to share, to care and to disciple.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Atheist Farmer - an oxymoron
Have you ever met an atheist farmer? Thinking back to all the farmers I have met, many of them were not real religious, most prayed (especially when they were in need of rain). I have never met a farmer who didn't believe in God. As I was driving in rural Nebraska, looking at the corn and soybeans which were an unnerving shade of brown, I thought about the farmers.
I don't know of any profession that will get you nearer the heart of God than the farmer. The farmer works the land, plants the seeds, treats for weeds and fungus and bugs, and depends on God. Only God can make the crops grow. We have irrigation, but only God can make it rain. Only God brings the sunshine. The farmer has the responsibility to do his part, but the results are up to God.
What a beautiful picture of God's power and man's responsibility coming together. We do our part to share the gospel. We share the truth, answer questions, silence skeptics but only God brings someone to Salvation.
I have had many titles in my life. Teacher, leader,manager, pastor, director, but the title I would love to have is farmer. Tilling soil, planting and watering and praising God for the increase.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
transitions
Life is certainly changing. I have resigned my position as Associate Pastor, but not my call to ministry. God has always put me in front line ministries, and that is what I am going back too. Student ministry, house church ministry, coaching,consulting and training. I am going to focus on where I am called and gifted.
Some have wondered if I got fired. No, I wasn't fired. I didn't just leave either, it was a decision that I made with the guidance of others. Parting was hard, but a friendly, loving seperation. I willn still maintain and build relationahip with that body of believers as I do the other things God has called me too.
You can be a part, by praying for us. Lots of changes and uncertainty. We are looking for a place to live and a job for me. Pray God opens the right doors. Thank you allnso much, the journey is just beginning.
Some have wondered if I got fired. No, I wasn't fired. I didn't just leave either, it was a decision that I made with the guidance of others. Parting was hard, but a friendly, loving seperation. I willn still maintain and build relationahip with that body of believers as I do the other things God has called me too.
You can be a part, by praying for us. Lots of changes and uncertainty. We are looking for a place to live and a job for me. Pray God opens the right doors. Thank you allnso much, the journey is just beginning.
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