Thursday, April 11, 2013

The Dire Threat to Marriage

There is lots of talk today about the state of marriage and the fear it's being eroded and destroyed.  The fight between advocates of same gender marriage and those who support traditional marriage are at war. Under all of these headlines, there is a threat to marriage that is invading, has come in under the radar, and we don't discuss it.

When I was in my 20s, all my friends were getting married. Now, in my 30s, my friends are splitting up, getting divorced, starting new families. It's like someone yelled "switch" and we all run for new partners. I don't want to make light how incredibly painful this is on people, children, families and homes, because people are hurting. Marriages are coming unravelled all around, the devil is winning in the quest to destroy marriage.

I don't want to turn this into a discussion about the current marriage fight in this country, because the reality is marriage and the home has been attacked for decades by the enemy of the family. The family is weak, the church, government, country are all weak. We need to reclaim the home, the family, but not through politics, laws and amendments.

First, we need community. A couple needs people they can talk too. People mess up, affairs happen, abuse happens, financial crisis happens, disease and death, all these things tear people apart. They need a support group they can lean on and turn too. They need help and support from their friends, older and wiser people, and the church. They need prayer and encouragement.

We need to be taught ho to forgive. In too many situations, I'm sorry doesn't mean a lot. You must forgive your spouse when they fail, when they mess up. Couples can recover from betrayal and hurt if they are willing to work through the process of forgiveness.  We have to teach our kids to forgive, how to love without condition and make family work.

Finally, love each and treat each other like they deserve love. Treat each other with respect, with tenderness, treat them like they are your spouse. Give honor and support to one another. Care for each other and love them like you love yourself.

If we will put work and effort into our marriage, then we can begin to turn the tide of marriage's destruction. We can begin to shore up the foundation of our country, churches and community. We need to care for one another, support one another and pray for one another. We need to cry out to God and admit, we are in trouble.

1 comment:

  1. Dan, this is something, I've also been thinking on this year. Thinking that as people who belong to Jesus, bought, redeemed, cleansed, forgiven, and the Spirit of Christ indwelling, let's seek, pray and cry out that we will be enabled to live together as husband and wife, co-heirs, and co-labors, looking for a city whose builder and maker is God. Let's live as believers, loving our spouse and by that love show forth how beautiful marriage truly is, how delightful, how clean, how holy, a gift to one another, better enabled to glorify his holy name than ever we could without each other. As believers, let's repent of all demeaning talk of our spouse, of those marriage jokes that show no respect for God's ordinance, no marriage coarse jesting, no talk but that which reflects the true value God has designed.

    Let's remember, that Christ's love for his bride, and her delight of him, is the real that we only picture. Our earthly marriage is but a picture, how much greater is that which is pictured. Look to Christ who loves his church and love your dear wife.

    But let's remember the enablement. Let's live in communion with God. Delight in him. Seek him, call out to him, wait to find him. Look to his promises, and the enabling power of the Word and Spirit. Rely on the life of God in the soul of man. Remember, you are yet a sinner, and be not alarmed at sin in your spouse more so than you are when you see it in yourself. Forgive as Christ has forgiven you so much more.

    Let's live together as husband and wife, walking with Jesus, in such a way, that we can show God's ordinance as good, and holy, and beautiful. Let's provoke one another unto this kind of Love, so that by our example, our brothers in Christ with holy jealousy will do the same. Let's see it as a matter of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. Trusting the Spirit who indwells, the promises of his word. Let's find especially in our marriage, Jesus all sufficient.

    Amen, a greater threat to marriage exists. If we all pursued Christ, dying to ourselves and living to God in marriage, our marriage is sweetened for ourselves and for all who may watch.

    Some Helps I found from Richard Baxter, under the heading "Mutual Duties" at this url:

    Keep it coming, Dan.

    Forgive us, cleans us, and Revive us, O Lord.