Saturday, January 5, 2013

Forgiveness- an open letter,

There is an old song by Don Henley, he said "I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, and my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter but I think it's about forgiveness."  I can tell you it's all about forgiveness.  I want to write a letter that is going to apply to multiple areas in my life.  I am thinking generally, with some specifics.  Read this as the cry of my heart and not as a letter "TOO" someone, because it might just be to you. . . but probably lot.  Some of those who inspired this letter are now gone, which causes heartache.  It's time I write this for everyone to read, because part of it may be for you.

To You:

I have wronged you in some ways.  We don't agree and we don't see eye to eye.  We are as different is the day is long and that's ok.  In some ways it was a good thing, but in many ways it was a bad thing.  I  am sorry for the ways I was wrong, for the things I have done wrong and the ways I hurt you.  I am far from perfect and in many way, I am weak.  I have found solace in knowing that Christ's strength is perfected in my weakness, He has so many opportunities to be strong in my life.  I am easily overwhelmed, I don't take criticism well, I am often in over my head, but I didn't ask for help, I didn't communicate well, and I made a lot of mistakes When things ended, I tried so hard to do everything right, but things came out so wrong.  I am not going to say anymore how, because I have been told over and over how wrong I have been in sharing my hurts, so I won't.  I will just say it didn't go how I thought it would go.

In the same way, I have to forgive. This is transparency, I feel like I need to admit my faults so I can be prayed for.  A wise man told me that once, and the scripture is clear on that.  I have been bombarded with scripture, some that has healed me, and sometime we try to weaponise scripture, but I've seen so much damage and abuse done to scripture that it hurts me.  The amount of isogesis that happens when people conflict with scripture as a weapon is staggering.  I think you did a lot wrong.  I think you continue to do many things very wrong, but it's not my job to fix them.  It's not my place to point them out anymore, you have people to do that for you.  I have seen things you did that hurt others, I have seen you do damage to scripture, do damage in teaching and I don't agree with some of your theological teaching.  I think you are wrong, and I am concerned about it.

I want you to know I forgive you.  I hope you forgive me too.  I have tried really hard to always be honest, feel like I was then flooded in half truths, untruths and political maneuvering.  It's ok because I'm moving on.  I'm healing, I'm better, it's taken years and decades, and also months and weeks and days and hours..  I love you and I hope and pray that everything goes great in the future.  In may ways I miss you, but in many ways I know the less we are in contact, the better.


  1. "I am not going to say anymore how, because I have been told over and over how wrong I have been in sharing my hurts, so I won't."

    I can relate deeply to this. I know the feeling of struggling for the courage to express my feelings of hurt only to have closed-minded people try to shame me or tell me I am wrong. Our society tells us that sharing our hurts isn't manly, that it somehow implies weakness. Don't be afraid to share, just because others don't understand. Their understanding doesn't have to be the goal of your sharing! I love you brother, I pray that you will continue to find forgiveness in your heart!

  2. I am so thankful that you have made a decision about healing in your own heart & soul. Praise God! Your commitment to our Lord Jesus is the most important thing. None of us can possibly be perfect this side of heaven. We're not called to be perfect. We're called to Follow Him. Loving you always. Praying for you and your precious family. Dorothy