I know the title seems counter-intuitive, but if you let me explain, it will all make sense. Many of the issues we have with this pandemic are due to the fact that we no longer have communities. We have given up community life for a qazi-global outlook. Let's examine the reality of what happens in a dead community, but first, let's recap how it dies.
The first stage of death was retail. The small grocer, the mom and pop store on the corner. The corner drug store, the town hardware, the 5 and dime, they are all gone. Replaced first my the Supermarket, then by the Big Box store. Walmart, Costco, Target, Home Depot, the list goes on. All these big chain retail stores are easy to shop, easy to get all your things and get out. The drawback, the clerk doesn't know your name. The guy at the meat counter, if they don't have a meat counter or the produce department. They don't know you. Most people at these stores don't even go to a checker, they use the self check out. The small store couldn't compete with Sam Waldon's monstrosity and many of them are long gone.
The second nail is when we decided that the megachurch was the best way to do church. We go to churches of 500+ and they are getting rid of the things that use to connect us. Many of them are throwing away Sunday School, moving to small groups, which is simply the peer groups who are connected anyway. The Sunday school programs that survived are not done in a way that connects people. We sit in rows, watch things on a screen, are treated to a concert with lights and cool effects. We hear a message and we leave. Gone are the days of the small church that is under 100 that still has potluck. We can't afford to pay a pastor and purchase a building anymore for a small church, the community church has been priced out. Bigger is the only way to preserve the model of church we have in America. Unless we want to change the model, and church folks aren't good at change, the big and megachurch will be the only way we can pay for our buildings, pastoral staff, and utilities. With it, a little more community dies.
Much like the issues with the local church, gone are the neighborhood schools. We use to walk to school because there was an elementary school in every neighborhood. They are where the community met for PTO meetings, concerts, and parent-teacher conferences. When my children started school in town, they were in a small community school. That school is gone and now there is a big school which merged three schools together. It saved the district a lot of money, but it cost more of community. Now the gyms are packed out for concerts and appointments are made for conferences. It's become the same nameless sea of faces that church and stores have become. The big mass of people has taken away our chances to really connect with our neighbors because these are people from four different neighborhoods.
This building a bigger institution has wrecked our sense of community. Add to it the automatic garage door opener and streaming video services like Netflix, we don't sit outside. We stopped connecting and we are raising a generation who don't know how to connect. We have increasing sex trafficking and child abduction that we don't want our kids to talk to anyone we don't know. We don't know our neighbors, so we don't talk to them. We have become suspicious and the neighborhood watch is replaced by video doorbells so we can keep an eye on the neighbors. We don't come out of our sanctuary, we are so focused on our electronic devices that we don't know the people next door. We often lose connection with the people in our homes.
Now, when something like the Corona Virus, or Covid-19 hits, the breakdown of community because obvious in a couple of ways. First, we don't trust the people around us and we have to make sure we are taken care of. We don't stop to think about others as we buy every roll of toilet paper on the shelves. We don't consider others as we stock up for 6 months, and people who don't have the financial means or are unable to get out can't get basic necessities. We are so concerned about taking care of ourselves that we don't stop and consider others. Their faces never come to mind because we don't know them. We don't consider them, we don't care about them. We just want to take care of ourselves.
After we buy everything, we choose to do what we want, when we want. I saw a report on the beaches full of college students at Spring Break. They were asked why they ignored the quarantine, and they basically said they didn't care and just wanted to have fun and party. They only care about having fun, only care about themselves. More and more young people only care about themselves, they have no sense of obligation to the community. The reason is, they don't know anything about what community looks like. They have grown up shopping in a giant store, attending a giant school, going to a giant church and not knowing anyone outside of their Snapchat list. They are disconnected from the people all around them. Naturally, they don't care about these people, they haven't learned empathy or compassion. They are raised by the people hoarding toilet paper. They are raised by price gougers. They live in a world where slavery and sex trafficking is a real concern and fear. Society has stopped being civilized and community is gone. We have seen it play out when a crisis hit. You see it on the news every night.
Normally, this would be the time where I write a solution. Sadly I don't have one. We can't fix the schools or the churches, the small shops are gone and are not coming back. The world has changed and until our society comes to the point of self-destruction, it will stay this way. Perhaps Western Civilization will fall apart, much like the Roman Empire. Perhaps we will all reset and go back to a community lifestyle. Maybe we will exist in the Hunger Games or some other dystopian society will bring back a sense of community. Maybe something will turn us around, but on the track, we are on, I see little hope for us now. May God have mercy on our selfish souls.
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Sunday, March 1, 2020
A Modern American Reformation? Maybe It's Time
As I begin, you need to know something about me. I'm a nobody. I have no status or position. The church I'm currently a member of won't let me do anything. Almost 20 years of ministry experience, a seminary degree and I have volunteered for almost everything, and do nothing. The last church I was on staff at said I wasn't cut out to be a pastor. I wasn't tough enough, strong enough, and I probably should have gone through Basic Training to learn how to be a real man. I am currently a teacher at a small school in rural Iowa. I have no position. I have written books that no one reads, the fact that you are even reading my blog is pretty amazing. I'm a nobody. The fact I would be calling for a reformation is pretty laughable since it's pretty clear no one really cares much about what I think.
I do have the unique position of being a fixture in the local church almost all of my life. I began serving on committees at the age of 16. I had my first employment at a church at 18. I was a pastor at 23, served as a pastor, youth pastors, associate pastor, college missionary, I've led worship (which was bad) and oversaw the installation of an educational building. I've done a lot.....
but
I'm an introvert. I struggle with depression. I never played football or baseball or hockey. I never served in the military. I don't yell or get really emotional. I question convention, I'm abstract, I don't always follow the status quo. I think if it's in the Bible, we should do it, but we need to actually study the Bible and not expect people to follow Jewish rules that fit our social ideology but ignore the ones that don't (tattoos and mixed fabrics). I can be stubborn, and I don't like to lose an argument. Moreover, I'm not dark and handsome (I'm sort of tall) and I don't have a voice that draws people in. I have the kind of face people can say "no" too. All things considered, I guess I don't have what it takes to be a Pastor in our modern church culture. I am willing to admit, my call for reformation may come out of the fact that I've been beaten up by the local church. Maybe it's just me being upset, or maybe the fact that anyone is beaten up by the local church is the problem.
When I was serving in Arizona (with a great pastor who has similar struggles), I was fortunate to run a coffee house church that was in the evenings that had a specific goal. Provide a place for post-church people. These are people with a church background who left the church, because the church hurt them. There are lots of these people. Lots. What is worse than the fact the church is churning these people out by the truckloads is the church refuses to take any responsibility.
The church is the manifest, incarnational representation of Jesus on the earth at this moment. If someone is seeking God, we tell them to go to church. At church, we are told that the people are the church, that the church is the body of Christ, the ambassadors of Jesus, the hands and feet. The church represents God. Then, the people in the church, the body, the hands, and feet, do something hateful and hurtful to someone. They are cruel and mean spirited. The person leaves the church, and the people of the church say "if you leave because of the people, you weren't really here for God". If they were at the church for God, but not the people, we would have another monastic movement (people becoming monks and living alone). I don't need a room full of people to find God, and the way the church talks about the people they damage is arrogant.
I know, I know, your church is loving, right? I'm sure most of the churches believe they are, but did you know that restaurant wait staff hate working Sunday lunch? Do you know why? They say people coming from church are rude, impatient, entitled and lousy tippers. They say things like "I refuse to give God 10% and a waiter 15%". It's not isolated, and it's one of the big reasons that the church is shrinking. Outsiders hate the church, the people inside and their attitudes. People who use to be at church every week now can't set foot. They have anxiety.
Remember that I said I have depression? I don't have anxiety, but lately, at church, I have anxiety. It has been incredibly difficult for me not to feel like I have been rejected by God. Maybe I have, maybe I am like King Saul and God has rejected me. The churches I have been active at in the city where I now live have told me I can't serve. I can sit there, be quiet and listen, but that is all. I'm not good enough to use all the things I spent my late teens, 20s and 30s learning, developing and growing. I'm not good enough to serve God in the local church. I'm not alone. A friend of mine who left a denomination he felt was not Biblically faithful came to our church. He was smart, he was articulate, and he had some issues with some things. He wanted to see a new reformation too, and he pointed out people in the church who were not following the teachings of the Bible. Needless to say, it wasn't long before he was no longer at church. I'll let you do the math.
Let's be honest, the church in America has become about the church. Members of the church want to be happy and comfortable and not change anything. There are jokes all over the internet about churches who refuse to change. It's only funny 'cause it's true. I was part of a church that did a "reboot". It's pretty ironic if I reboot my computer, it turns off and then turns back on exactly the same way it was before. It doesn't change or upgrade because of a reboot. It just turns off and starts back up again, exactly the same. Sure, we have added some new tech toys, but the church doesn't change. It pretty much looks the same as it did in the time of Jesus when the Pharisees ran it.
Now, I'm sure that several people, if they really read this far, are pretty annoyed. I'm sure I'll get called weak and soft and I need to suck it up, be a company man or a team player or a good soldier. It's nothing new, I've heard it all before. Like I said, I've been systematically rejected, and I'm a nobody. There are lots of nobodies like me who don't want to attend your churches anymore. We aren't impressed with your bands, your covers of the latest Christian songs from Klove. We don't need your trendy sermons. If I wanted good music and a powerful sermon, I have the entire internet at my disposal. I don't need good content. I have good content everywhere I look. I have books, podcasts, radio stations, smartphone apps. I need to be connected, and when you amputated me, then expected me to stay in proximity to the body and expect me to live. . . . . I think you get the idea. It's no wonder I'm feeling rotten. I don't want to go to church. I wanted to be the church, but I wasn't good enough for you. If the modern American church wants to change that, there are plenty of us who will be waiting.
I do have the unique position of being a fixture in the local church almost all of my life. I began serving on committees at the age of 16. I had my first employment at a church at 18. I was a pastor at 23, served as a pastor, youth pastors, associate pastor, college missionary, I've led worship (which was bad) and oversaw the installation of an educational building. I've done a lot.....
but
I'm an introvert. I struggle with depression. I never played football or baseball or hockey. I never served in the military. I don't yell or get really emotional. I question convention, I'm abstract, I don't always follow the status quo. I think if it's in the Bible, we should do it, but we need to actually study the Bible and not expect people to follow Jewish rules that fit our social ideology but ignore the ones that don't (tattoos and mixed fabrics). I can be stubborn, and I don't like to lose an argument. Moreover, I'm not dark and handsome (I'm sort of tall) and I don't have a voice that draws people in. I have the kind of face people can say "no" too. All things considered, I guess I don't have what it takes to be a Pastor in our modern church culture. I am willing to admit, my call for reformation may come out of the fact that I've been beaten up by the local church. Maybe it's just me being upset, or maybe the fact that anyone is beaten up by the local church is the problem.
When I was serving in Arizona (with a great pastor who has similar struggles), I was fortunate to run a coffee house church that was in the evenings that had a specific goal. Provide a place for post-church people. These are people with a church background who left the church, because the church hurt them. There are lots of these people. Lots. What is worse than the fact the church is churning these people out by the truckloads is the church refuses to take any responsibility.
The church is the manifest, incarnational representation of Jesus on the earth at this moment. If someone is seeking God, we tell them to go to church. At church, we are told that the people are the church, that the church is the body of Christ, the ambassadors of Jesus, the hands and feet. The church represents God. Then, the people in the church, the body, the hands, and feet, do something hateful and hurtful to someone. They are cruel and mean spirited. The person leaves the church, and the people of the church say "if you leave because of the people, you weren't really here for God". If they were at the church for God, but not the people, we would have another monastic movement (people becoming monks and living alone). I don't need a room full of people to find God, and the way the church talks about the people they damage is arrogant.
I know, I know, your church is loving, right? I'm sure most of the churches believe they are, but did you know that restaurant wait staff hate working Sunday lunch? Do you know why? They say people coming from church are rude, impatient, entitled and lousy tippers. They say things like "I refuse to give God 10% and a waiter 15%". It's not isolated, and it's one of the big reasons that the church is shrinking. Outsiders hate the church, the people inside and their attitudes. People who use to be at church every week now can't set foot. They have anxiety.
Remember that I said I have depression? I don't have anxiety, but lately, at church, I have anxiety. It has been incredibly difficult for me not to feel like I have been rejected by God. Maybe I have, maybe I am like King Saul and God has rejected me. The churches I have been active at in the city where I now live have told me I can't serve. I can sit there, be quiet and listen, but that is all. I'm not good enough to use all the things I spent my late teens, 20s and 30s learning, developing and growing. I'm not good enough to serve God in the local church. I'm not alone. A friend of mine who left a denomination he felt was not Biblically faithful came to our church. He was smart, he was articulate, and he had some issues with some things. He wanted to see a new reformation too, and he pointed out people in the church who were not following the teachings of the Bible. Needless to say, it wasn't long before he was no longer at church. I'll let you do the math.
Let's be honest, the church in America has become about the church. Members of the church want to be happy and comfortable and not change anything. There are jokes all over the internet about churches who refuse to change. It's only funny 'cause it's true. I was part of a church that did a "reboot". It's pretty ironic if I reboot my computer, it turns off and then turns back on exactly the same way it was before. It doesn't change or upgrade because of a reboot. It just turns off and starts back up again, exactly the same. Sure, we have added some new tech toys, but the church doesn't change. It pretty much looks the same as it did in the time of Jesus when the Pharisees ran it.
Now, I'm sure that several people, if they really read this far, are pretty annoyed. I'm sure I'll get called weak and soft and I need to suck it up, be a company man or a team player or a good soldier. It's nothing new, I've heard it all before. Like I said, I've been systematically rejected, and I'm a nobody. There are lots of nobodies like me who don't want to attend your churches anymore. We aren't impressed with your bands, your covers of the latest Christian songs from Klove. We don't need your trendy sermons. If I wanted good music and a powerful sermon, I have the entire internet at my disposal. I don't need good content. I have good content everywhere I look. I have books, podcasts, radio stations, smartphone apps. I need to be connected, and when you amputated me, then expected me to stay in proximity to the body and expect me to live. . . . . I think you get the idea. It's no wonder I'm feeling rotten. I don't want to go to church. I wanted to be the church, but I wasn't good enough for you. If the modern American church wants to change that, there are plenty of us who will be waiting.
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
My 2020 Theme
For many years now, I have had a yearly theme. I began this when I was in church work, focusing on the things that happened in the previous year and seeking to be/do better. Not sure if it has helped all that much, but now as a school teacher, I see things in myself that I need to adjust. I am always seeking to do and be better, so with that in mind, I have prepared my theme for 2020.
As an educator in my 2nd year in public school, I have had a lot of hoops. I jumped through a bunch to get my teacher's license. I am continuing to add endorsements, get more education, develop as a professional, improve and grow as a teacher. Some of it really helps me as a teacher, and some things are just hoops I have to jump through. As in any industry that is regulated and funded by government money, there are just things you have to do. This can cause someone to lose joy and passion and move into autopilot. It becomes just a routine of going through the motions. I can't tell you the number of educators I have met over the last 20 years who have moved into this mode. It happens. Teaching is a hard job that takes its toll. This is why there is a teacher shortage in this country. It's rough, and it can burn out the best teachers. I have had times when I have just gone into autopilot. This fall was tough, and personally, it was a tough beginning of the year, personally more than professionally. It was hard and looking at 2019 as a whole, I have shaped my theme for 2020.
My 2020 Theme "Operate from the Passion". I love teaching. I loved teaching in the church, in the community, in group homes, in vocational training, and I love teaching in school. I love teaching students, I love talking and having a discussion about complex issues. I lost a little in the fall of 2019. I didn't love teaching, I just taught. I did what I was supposed to do, I looked for things I needed to improve, I focused on managing my sometimes difficult classroom. I stopped enjoying what I was doing as I was so focused on doing it. As a result, I wasn't as good of a teacher as I should have been.
I found this was true at home. I wasn't as good of a father or husband as I should have been, because I did it, but I didn't love doing it as much as I should. I still love being a husband and father more than anything, but I lost my passion. I lost passion for lots of things in life, and I just did what I was supposed to do and just existed and survived most of the time. In 2020, it's time to reconnect that passion. I need a new passion for life, for living and doing what I love to do. In 2020, I want to renew my passion and have passion and zeal for my activities. It won't always be easy, sometimes it's just easier to survive. I'll get tired and worn out and frustrated. It happens, but I can't let it steal my passion. I hope you too have a new passion in 2020 and you can do all that you do with zeal and joy.
As an educator in my 2nd year in public school, I have had a lot of hoops. I jumped through a bunch to get my teacher's license. I am continuing to add endorsements, get more education, develop as a professional, improve and grow as a teacher. Some of it really helps me as a teacher, and some things are just hoops I have to jump through. As in any industry that is regulated and funded by government money, there are just things you have to do. This can cause someone to lose joy and passion and move into autopilot. It becomes just a routine of going through the motions. I can't tell you the number of educators I have met over the last 20 years who have moved into this mode. It happens. Teaching is a hard job that takes its toll. This is why there is a teacher shortage in this country. It's rough, and it can burn out the best teachers. I have had times when I have just gone into autopilot. This fall was tough, and personally, it was a tough beginning of the year, personally more than professionally. It was hard and looking at 2019 as a whole, I have shaped my theme for 2020.
My 2020 Theme "Operate from the Passion". I love teaching. I loved teaching in the church, in the community, in group homes, in vocational training, and I love teaching in school. I love teaching students, I love talking and having a discussion about complex issues. I lost a little in the fall of 2019. I didn't love teaching, I just taught. I did what I was supposed to do, I looked for things I needed to improve, I focused on managing my sometimes difficult classroom. I stopped enjoying what I was doing as I was so focused on doing it. As a result, I wasn't as good of a teacher as I should have been.
I found this was true at home. I wasn't as good of a father or husband as I should have been, because I did it, but I didn't love doing it as much as I should. I still love being a husband and father more than anything, but I lost my passion. I lost passion for lots of things in life, and I just did what I was supposed to do and just existed and survived most of the time. In 2020, it's time to reconnect that passion. I need a new passion for life, for living and doing what I love to do. In 2020, I want to renew my passion and have passion and zeal for my activities. It won't always be easy, sometimes it's just easier to survive. I'll get tired and worn out and frustrated. It happens, but I can't let it steal my passion. I hope you too have a new passion in 2020 and you can do all that you do with zeal and joy.
Saturday, December 14, 2019
The Blame Game
I see a trend in 2019. We like to point out what everyone has done to mess up. . . well everything. Let's start at the top, the Democrats are blaming Trump for ruining the country, Trump is blaming the Democrats. You can make an argument for both. The older generation is blaming the younger generation, the younger generation is blaming the older one. Everyone is blaming smartphones and social media. We blame GMOs, pesticides, fluorine, the earth's rotation, CO2, Billinairs, poor people, white people, black people, even green people. We blame China, we blame people in red hats or people on the coasts. We blame vaccines, we blame the education system or big pharma. In the end, a whole lot of people are blaming God. Some of you even blame me. Some of it may be my fault. That's not the point.
So what is my point? My point is, we have been so busy pushing blame, conspiracies, reasons, and rationals that we forgot to do one simple thing. Take some personal responsibility. Guess what? Most of your issues are your own fault. Now, I can hear many of you right now saying "you don't know what I've been through". Yes, bad things happen that you didn't cause. That doesn't exclude most of the bad things that happen, do so because of the decisions you make. The day to day stresses aren't anyone's fault but your own. We need to be responsible and take control. Make the changes that will affect your life.
More than that, but do the stuff you need to do. We live in a time when everyone wants everyone else to do the things they should be doing but aren't. If I see one more group protesting "climate change" with their smartphones, Airpods, and Fitbits, I might just lose it. You are the problem. The CO2 that you claim is destroying the planet is being produced in factories in China making your iPhone. You want to save the planet, stop buying tech. It's your fault. You don't want fluoridated water? Dig a well. You don't want GMOs? Plant a garden. Do the work yourself before you expect everyone around you to do the work. Stop blaming, stop demanding, start doing.
If you think that people are hateful and need to be more accepting, then you need to stop hating and be more excepting. If you think people should accept you for who you are, accept others for who they are. That doesn't mean the attempt to change them to be more like you. If you are marching, boycotting or picketing so people will accept you, you are a hypocritical trouble maker, you are the problem. If you feel like you need to change people so they will accept you, then you need to boycott yourself, lock yourself in a bathroom and have a good hard look in the mirror. Stop blaming, stop pointing fingers, stop promoting every divisive thing that exists in society today. Take your sign, go home and take care of business. If you focus on making yourself a better person, the world will be better for your efforts. Imagine if we all did that!
So what is my point? My point is, we have been so busy pushing blame, conspiracies, reasons, and rationals that we forgot to do one simple thing. Take some personal responsibility. Guess what? Most of your issues are your own fault. Now, I can hear many of you right now saying "you don't know what I've been through". Yes, bad things happen that you didn't cause. That doesn't exclude most of the bad things that happen, do so because of the decisions you make. The day to day stresses aren't anyone's fault but your own. We need to be responsible and take control. Make the changes that will affect your life.
More than that, but do the stuff you need to do. We live in a time when everyone wants everyone else to do the things they should be doing but aren't. If I see one more group protesting "climate change" with their smartphones, Airpods, and Fitbits, I might just lose it. You are the problem. The CO2 that you claim is destroying the planet is being produced in factories in China making your iPhone. You want to save the planet, stop buying tech. It's your fault. You don't want fluoridated water? Dig a well. You don't want GMOs? Plant a garden. Do the work yourself before you expect everyone around you to do the work. Stop blaming, stop demanding, start doing.
If you think that people are hateful and need to be more accepting, then you need to stop hating and be more excepting. If you think people should accept you for who you are, accept others for who they are. That doesn't mean the attempt to change them to be more like you. If you are marching, boycotting or picketing so people will accept you, you are a hypocritical trouble maker, you are the problem. If you feel like you need to change people so they will accept you, then you need to boycott yourself, lock yourself in a bathroom and have a good hard look in the mirror. Stop blaming, stop pointing fingers, stop promoting every divisive thing that exists in society today. Take your sign, go home and take care of business. If you focus on making yourself a better person, the world will be better for your efforts. Imagine if we all did that!
Sunday, November 3, 2019
Some Thoughts on Stress
Have you ever been stressed out? Like really stressed out, like panic attack thought you were going to die stressed out? You probably have. I think we all experience moments of stress, and as I have aged, I have found several different types of stress and I am constantly learning how to manage them. Some are easier than others.
The first stress is in the moment stress that seems to come and pass very quickly. I was driving home last night on the interstate through town, and there was some construction with cones and moving lanes. It wasn't marked clearly and I moved left and suddenly I saw oncoming headlights. I thought somehow one of us was on the wrong side and I was about to get into a head-on accident on the interstate. Turns out that road just had a weird curve, I was where I was supposed to be, the other car was where they were supposed to be, we all lived. I had a moment where my heart lept into my throat, but then it was fine. The adrenaline coursed for a minute, then I calmed down, and within a minute or two, everything was fine. This is that "flight or fight" response that happens sometimes. I had a moment of panic, but then it was cool. We can't really do much about that stress, learn to try to remain composed when it happens, but biology does its thing and we have a little panic. Then we are good.
The second stress is what happens when you have deadlines. Last year, in my first year of teaching I also had classes and tests and evaluations to complete. There was a lot on my plate, and all of it was critical. If I didn't pass and complete all the objectives, I wouldn't get my teaching license and all my time, money, and effort would be for nothing. This was stressful, but ultimately I was in control. There was nothing I wasn't capable of, clearly because I passed and completed all the requirements. It was stressful, but the stress was managed by me tackling each assignment, assessment, and requirement. I was able to control the stress in some ways by having a good work ethic, time management, and having a plan. I managed to get it done and I managed the stress well.
The last time of stress is the stress that kills people. I am finding I have more of this stress as I get older, although early in my adult life I had a good amount. This is the stuff that is out of your control completely. When my parents were diagnosed with cancer, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Cancer and other illnesses, you can have treatments and take care of yourself, but in the end, it's out of your control. When you get laid off from your job, another experience I have, there is nothing you can do about it. You make a plan, you start looking for work, but there is a lack of control. As a parent, you live with this all the time. I can teach my kids, discipline my kids, do anything and everything I can to help them grow upright. In the end, they are going to make their own choices and decisions. This is stressful, especially when they are making choices that have major consequences. I experience this with students as well, they make choices that will hurt them in the long run, but there is little I can do. The students make their own choices.
When you have this last time of stress, it's bad. As I am writing this, I am sitting with a heating pad on my back, which is full of knots. I have had stress-induced pain for the last few weeks. It's awful and it keeps me from really enjoying life. So, I need to manage my stress in better ways. First thing I'm going to try? Prayer. I can't control many of the things that are causing me stress right now. I have no power to change things, so I seek God, who does have the power to change things. Prayer makes a difference and has multiple positive benefits. First, you are connecting with God, which is always a good thing. Second, when you are praying through an issue, you are also thinking through that issue and taking stock of what is really happening. We often create more stress by overstressing and underthinking. We think about all the stress we are under, but we don't always analyze the situation. Having some prayer time can help you do just that. Prayer is a type of meditation. Meditating on a problem is simply focused thinking and blocking out distractions.
Prayer, meditation, focusing on what you can do are all things you can do to begin to take control of the stress. Outside of this, there is really nothing we can do about most of these situations. In those cases, we must find things we can do to help cope and feel better. Take a walk or exercise, watch a movie or go to dinner with friends and family. Sometimes you have to treat yourself to something special to help get through a rough time. It can be really, really easy to let the stresser become the focal point of your life. Having a serious issue can devour your life and leave you in an emotional hole. It's critical to do the things necessary to stay out of that hole.
Know this, if something is causing you great stress, you are not alone. Everyone is dealing with something, struggling with something right now. Find those good people you can surround yourself with, people who care about you. Get rid of the negative and toxic people, do what is good for you and your family. Take control of the things you can control, and do what you can to let go for the things you can't control. It's hard work, and it will be exhausting at time. Know that it's ok to be exhausted sometimes, give yourself permission to take a break and step aside from the daily grind. Take care of yourself, step at a time, and you will get through this!
The first stress is in the moment stress that seems to come and pass very quickly. I was driving home last night on the interstate through town, and there was some construction with cones and moving lanes. It wasn't marked clearly and I moved left and suddenly I saw oncoming headlights. I thought somehow one of us was on the wrong side and I was about to get into a head-on accident on the interstate. Turns out that road just had a weird curve, I was where I was supposed to be, the other car was where they were supposed to be, we all lived. I had a moment where my heart lept into my throat, but then it was fine. The adrenaline coursed for a minute, then I calmed down, and within a minute or two, everything was fine. This is that "flight or fight" response that happens sometimes. I had a moment of panic, but then it was cool. We can't really do much about that stress, learn to try to remain composed when it happens, but biology does its thing and we have a little panic. Then we are good.
The second stress is what happens when you have deadlines. Last year, in my first year of teaching I also had classes and tests and evaluations to complete. There was a lot on my plate, and all of it was critical. If I didn't pass and complete all the objectives, I wouldn't get my teaching license and all my time, money, and effort would be for nothing. This was stressful, but ultimately I was in control. There was nothing I wasn't capable of, clearly because I passed and completed all the requirements. It was stressful, but the stress was managed by me tackling each assignment, assessment, and requirement. I was able to control the stress in some ways by having a good work ethic, time management, and having a plan. I managed to get it done and I managed the stress well.
The last time of stress is the stress that kills people. I am finding I have more of this stress as I get older, although early in my adult life I had a good amount. This is the stuff that is out of your control completely. When my parents were diagnosed with cancer, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Cancer and other illnesses, you can have treatments and take care of yourself, but in the end, it's out of your control. When you get laid off from your job, another experience I have, there is nothing you can do about it. You make a plan, you start looking for work, but there is a lack of control. As a parent, you live with this all the time. I can teach my kids, discipline my kids, do anything and everything I can to help them grow upright. In the end, they are going to make their own choices and decisions. This is stressful, especially when they are making choices that have major consequences. I experience this with students as well, they make choices that will hurt them in the long run, but there is little I can do. The students make their own choices.
When you have this last time of stress, it's bad. As I am writing this, I am sitting with a heating pad on my back, which is full of knots. I have had stress-induced pain for the last few weeks. It's awful and it keeps me from really enjoying life. So, I need to manage my stress in better ways. First thing I'm going to try? Prayer. I can't control many of the things that are causing me stress right now. I have no power to change things, so I seek God, who does have the power to change things. Prayer makes a difference and has multiple positive benefits. First, you are connecting with God, which is always a good thing. Second, when you are praying through an issue, you are also thinking through that issue and taking stock of what is really happening. We often create more stress by overstressing and underthinking. We think about all the stress we are under, but we don't always analyze the situation. Having some prayer time can help you do just that. Prayer is a type of meditation. Meditating on a problem is simply focused thinking and blocking out distractions.
Prayer, meditation, focusing on what you can do are all things you can do to begin to take control of the stress. Outside of this, there is really nothing we can do about most of these situations. In those cases, we must find things we can do to help cope and feel better. Take a walk or exercise, watch a movie or go to dinner with friends and family. Sometimes you have to treat yourself to something special to help get through a rough time. It can be really, really easy to let the stresser become the focal point of your life. Having a serious issue can devour your life and leave you in an emotional hole. It's critical to do the things necessary to stay out of that hole.
Know this, if something is causing you great stress, you are not alone. Everyone is dealing with something, struggling with something right now. Find those good people you can surround yourself with, people who care about you. Get rid of the negative and toxic people, do what is good for you and your family. Take control of the things you can control, and do what you can to let go for the things you can't control. It's hard work, and it will be exhausting at time. Know that it's ok to be exhausted sometimes, give yourself permission to take a break and step aside from the daily grind. Take care of yourself, step at a time, and you will get through this!
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
Issue #3, Church Overhead, AKA Spending Money on Us
In your household, you probably have a few pretty large expenses every month. Rent or mortgage, utilities, maybe a car payment. Like most of us, those bills take up a lot of our income. Churches aren't much different. At one church, we called those the "fixed costs" and they had to be paid before we could use the funds for anything else. The payment for the building, the utility bill, vehicles, maintenance, the list is pretty standard. My challenge today is, should we be putting most of our money into overhead? Should the church have so many bills?
Let's back up to the New Testament. First off, I want to put this out there now. The tithe existed for the Jewish people to pay for the temple and the priests. The tithe is not a New Testament requirement on the non-Jewish people. Are we commanded to give? Yes. How much? Paul said whatever we can give, above and beyond our ability in some cases. Having the tithe, or the 10% is easy, cause it's a set number and people can just cut a check. Provides accountability, but it pays for stuff in the Old Testament that we don't have today, or at least aren't suppose to have. The tithe is an Old Testament law to support the Old Testament structure. What is the New Testament structure?
Let's be honest, the early church didn't have a dedicated church building. They couldn't, they were being persecuted. The Jews had the Temple and the synagogues. The pagans had the pagan temples, the Christians, they met in homes, in caves, in other places. They just met wherever they met because they had no "church service". They didn't decide they were going to meet every week at 11:00 am to have a service. They did worship together on Sunday, but it was more like Sunday dinner than a worship service. They all came over on Sunday, fellowshipped, worshipped, talked, and ate. It was pretty simple. The guy who leads the group was the "elder" or "pastor" and all these little groups cooperated together. It was understood that "the church" was all the Christians in that town that met in various places. Not too different than today.
When it came to time to give, the early church gave with the understanding of where the money went. First, to support those who were poor, in danger, or in need. They gave early on to support the church in Jerusalem, which was experiencing persecution. Makes it hard to work when you are running for your life. They gave money to support others. Second, they gave to support the Apostles, Elders, and Pastors. That's it. They gave their money to support, help, and care for others. All of their money went to this end. All of the money the church gave went to people who needed help, to spread the Gospel, to plant new churches and to give aid to the sick and poor.
I'm not going to say that buildings are bad, they are a tool. I have worked in several church buildings, and they are nice. It's nice to have an office, it's nice to have a kitchen and classrooms and a dedicated space for worship. It's nice to have those things, it makes it easier. Setting up chairs is awful, being transient is awful. It's nice to have a building. At one point in the history of the American church, it also made sense to have a building. Does it still make sense to pour most of the giving into stuff in the day and age we live in? Does having a dedicated church building do the most good for the ministry?
Here is reality. That church building, those chairs and the AC. You can say it's for the community, but it's not. It's for you, the church members. It's to have a nice place to sit, a place to listen to your Christian Concert and drink your coffee. We like having a nice building that is heated and air-conditioned. Sure, visitors can come in, and new people, but if another new person never visited your church, would you tear it down? Nope, not as long as you were still attending. Still don't believe me? Ask yourself why there are so many fights about the way the church looks. Why do we fight over carpet color, paint color, and decorations? If the building doesn't matter, why do people get so upset when things change? You think the lost people or the new people are concerned with the picture your grandmother donated 50 years ago? All those things are for us, the church members.
Here is my suggestion. Sell all that stuff and meet at a High School gym. Here is an even better idea, work together with a Christian business that is closed on Sunday morning and has a church there. Know what my dream is? Multiple services every week in Chick-Fil-As all over this country. At one point I had discussed with a friend starting a pizza restaurant that had a large dining area that on Sunday would donate the space to a church that we would plant there. The restaurant would be self-sustaining, it would pay for itself and the church would have very little overhead. Can you imagine churches in car dealerships, restaurants, office conference rooms, schools, theaters, and all kinds of places that cost just a fraction of what a church building does?
What would the church do with all that extra money? Maybe we could help all the people, instead of waiting on Congress. Maybe the church could send people to the border with supplies to help those in centers, instead of complaining on social media. Maybe we could help the homeless Vets, we could support those babies who were not aborted. We could spend the money being the salt and light of Jesus and make a huge difference. We wouldn't need to wait on government social policy, we could do it. We can make a huge difference if we can decide not to spend the money on air-conditioned buildings with comfortable chairs, good coffee, and a state of the art sound system so we can enjoy ourselves. We would become the church instead of Christian consumers, and I think we may even see some revival.
Let's back up to the New Testament. First off, I want to put this out there now. The tithe existed for the Jewish people to pay for the temple and the priests. The tithe is not a New Testament requirement on the non-Jewish people. Are we commanded to give? Yes. How much? Paul said whatever we can give, above and beyond our ability in some cases. Having the tithe, or the 10% is easy, cause it's a set number and people can just cut a check. Provides accountability, but it pays for stuff in the Old Testament that we don't have today, or at least aren't suppose to have. The tithe is an Old Testament law to support the Old Testament structure. What is the New Testament structure?
Let's be honest, the early church didn't have a dedicated church building. They couldn't, they were being persecuted. The Jews had the Temple and the synagogues. The pagans had the pagan temples, the Christians, they met in homes, in caves, in other places. They just met wherever they met because they had no "church service". They didn't decide they were going to meet every week at 11:00 am to have a service. They did worship together on Sunday, but it was more like Sunday dinner than a worship service. They all came over on Sunday, fellowshipped, worshipped, talked, and ate. It was pretty simple. The guy who leads the group was the "elder" or "pastor" and all these little groups cooperated together. It was understood that "the church" was all the Christians in that town that met in various places. Not too different than today.
When it came to time to give, the early church gave with the understanding of where the money went. First, to support those who were poor, in danger, or in need. They gave early on to support the church in Jerusalem, which was experiencing persecution. Makes it hard to work when you are running for your life. They gave money to support others. Second, they gave to support the Apostles, Elders, and Pastors. That's it. They gave their money to support, help, and care for others. All of their money went to this end. All of the money the church gave went to people who needed help, to spread the Gospel, to plant new churches and to give aid to the sick and poor.
I'm not going to say that buildings are bad, they are a tool. I have worked in several church buildings, and they are nice. It's nice to have an office, it's nice to have a kitchen and classrooms and a dedicated space for worship. It's nice to have those things, it makes it easier. Setting up chairs is awful, being transient is awful. It's nice to have a building. At one point in the history of the American church, it also made sense to have a building. Does it still make sense to pour most of the giving into stuff in the day and age we live in? Does having a dedicated church building do the most good for the ministry?
Here is reality. That church building, those chairs and the AC. You can say it's for the community, but it's not. It's for you, the church members. It's to have a nice place to sit, a place to listen to your Christian Concert and drink your coffee. We like having a nice building that is heated and air-conditioned. Sure, visitors can come in, and new people, but if another new person never visited your church, would you tear it down? Nope, not as long as you were still attending. Still don't believe me? Ask yourself why there are so many fights about the way the church looks. Why do we fight over carpet color, paint color, and decorations? If the building doesn't matter, why do people get so upset when things change? You think the lost people or the new people are concerned with the picture your grandmother donated 50 years ago? All those things are for us, the church members.
Here is my suggestion. Sell all that stuff and meet at a High School gym. Here is an even better idea, work together with a Christian business that is closed on Sunday morning and has a church there. Know what my dream is? Multiple services every week in Chick-Fil-As all over this country. At one point I had discussed with a friend starting a pizza restaurant that had a large dining area that on Sunday would donate the space to a church that we would plant there. The restaurant would be self-sustaining, it would pay for itself and the church would have very little overhead. Can you imagine churches in car dealerships, restaurants, office conference rooms, schools, theaters, and all kinds of places that cost just a fraction of what a church building does?
What would the church do with all that extra money? Maybe we could help all the people, instead of waiting on Congress. Maybe the church could send people to the border with supplies to help those in centers, instead of complaining on social media. Maybe we could help the homeless Vets, we could support those babies who were not aborted. We could spend the money being the salt and light of Jesus and make a huge difference. We wouldn't need to wait on government social policy, we could do it. We can make a huge difference if we can decide not to spend the money on air-conditioned buildings with comfortable chairs, good coffee, and a state of the art sound system so we can enjoy ourselves. We would become the church instead of Christian consumers, and I think we may even see some revival.
Friday, June 28, 2019
Issue #2. The Church Concert, aka Worship
There is a great Christian Recording Artist named Ross King who I had the honor of meeting at National Collegiate Week many years ago. He has a song called "Clear the Stage" about how we approach worship in our country and the church. The first line of the song is "Clear the stage and set the sounds and lights ablaze if that's the measure you must take to crush the idol". He goes on in the song to be very honest about the state of the church when it comes to worship. We have to ask ourselves, what are we really worshiping? Are we singing to God, or are we worshiping at the feet of our own entertainment preferences? Maybe we are just worshiping our desire to be entertained and enjoy ourselves.
In my years in the church ministries, I have had some issues with worship and the way we say we "worship". Things have only gotten worse. My first and biggest complaint is that modern church worship isn't worship, it's an attempt to emotionally manipulate the congregation. We act like this is somehow "holy" if we get people really emotionally into what is happening. The reality, this happens outside the church. Jason Aldean, a country singer says in one of his songs that during a concert everyone feels the "halleluiah high from the floor to the ceiling". This is not a Christian song, this is not a context to worship God, but this country singer recognizes the ability to manipulate the crowd into feeling a religious experience. As a performer, it's his job to emotionally manipulate the people into feeling good and having fun. It is not the job of the church to manipulate the people in the congregation into feeling something. This isn't authentic, nowhere is the Bible does it talk about having an emotional experience with Christ. The reality is emotions are easy to manipulate but don't last. You know as well as I do the promises and vows you made in emotional situations that faded as soon as the emotions. Guilt, fear, and anger cause you to make promises you'll never keep. Feelings of elation and extasy do the same thing, and often the "mountain top" experience is an emotional decision that doesn't last long enough to even get us off the mountain. To compensate, the church has begun to try to emotionally manipulate the church once a week for 30 minutes, then we listen to Christian radio to try to fill in the gaps. This keeps people doing the right thing without the need for the Holy Spirit or any actual saving faith in their lives.
It didn't always use to be this way. We use to sing songs that taught, that had depth and that didn't attempt to emotionally manipulate people. They didn't require saying the same phrase over 50 times, they didn't have 3 part harmonies, solos, lights, and special effects. These things move worshipers to spectators. If you are doing things on the stage that the people in the congregation aren't doing, like guitar solos, they are no longer worshipers, they are spectators. I have had this conversation with many worship leaders, some agreed with me, many didn't. I am pretty convinced that the main purpose for these things in to create a "mood" and move the people into a specific emotional place. This is a nice way of saying "emotional manipulation".
The performance aspect of our church services, what we call Worship, has become an idol. People join and leave churches based on the music, which is basically their need to be entertained. We have entire churches that spend more on the music budget in a month than discipleship in a year. We have put so much into the emotional manipulation because it fills the pews. If we offer mini-concerts every week, along with a free coffee bar and some feel-good words, we can fill the building. It works, and it keeps people coming back and fewer and fewer people have the Biblical worldview. They walk away singing the songs that aren't teaching them anything. If you want proof, look at the state of our country, how much we have given up and given away. The church is not having the impact on society it once had.
The sad truth is, it's doubtful things will change. The leadership doesn't want to change things, they see this is working. Megachurches with the best worship keep growing. Worship leaders don't want to change this, they feel they are having a great impact. The entertained masses don't want to change this, they love the free show they can attend. We have gone so far down this road, it will take something disastrous to turn back. I don't see the worship trend changing unless this country makes it illegal to worship. Those just coming for entertainment will not come under threat of persecution. If the flashy show draws attention from a hostile government, it will go away. Then the faithful who are left will worship in a very different manner. They will sing Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs to one another without professionals, without solos and three-part harmonies. The music will become a teaching aspect of the church again, not an entertainment aspect. Emotional manipulation won't be a recipe for a large service, and then we may see revival in the church. Until then, it's an assembling of consumers for entertainment.
In my years in the church ministries, I have had some issues with worship and the way we say we "worship". Things have only gotten worse. My first and biggest complaint is that modern church worship isn't worship, it's an attempt to emotionally manipulate the congregation. We act like this is somehow "holy" if we get people really emotionally into what is happening. The reality, this happens outside the church. Jason Aldean, a country singer says in one of his songs that during a concert everyone feels the "halleluiah high from the floor to the ceiling". This is not a Christian song, this is not a context to worship God, but this country singer recognizes the ability to manipulate the crowd into feeling a religious experience. As a performer, it's his job to emotionally manipulate the people into feeling good and having fun. It is not the job of the church to manipulate the people in the congregation into feeling something. This isn't authentic, nowhere is the Bible does it talk about having an emotional experience with Christ. The reality is emotions are easy to manipulate but don't last. You know as well as I do the promises and vows you made in emotional situations that faded as soon as the emotions. Guilt, fear, and anger cause you to make promises you'll never keep. Feelings of elation and extasy do the same thing, and often the "mountain top" experience is an emotional decision that doesn't last long enough to even get us off the mountain. To compensate, the church has begun to try to emotionally manipulate the church once a week for 30 minutes, then we listen to Christian radio to try to fill in the gaps. This keeps people doing the right thing without the need for the Holy Spirit or any actual saving faith in their lives.
It didn't always use to be this way. We use to sing songs that taught, that had depth and that didn't attempt to emotionally manipulate people. They didn't require saying the same phrase over 50 times, they didn't have 3 part harmonies, solos, lights, and special effects. These things move worshipers to spectators. If you are doing things on the stage that the people in the congregation aren't doing, like guitar solos, they are no longer worshipers, they are spectators. I have had this conversation with many worship leaders, some agreed with me, many didn't. I am pretty convinced that the main purpose for these things in to create a "mood" and move the people into a specific emotional place. This is a nice way of saying "emotional manipulation".
The performance aspect of our church services, what we call Worship, has become an idol. People join and leave churches based on the music, which is basically their need to be entertained. We have entire churches that spend more on the music budget in a month than discipleship in a year. We have put so much into the emotional manipulation because it fills the pews. If we offer mini-concerts every week, along with a free coffee bar and some feel-good words, we can fill the building. It works, and it keeps people coming back and fewer and fewer people have the Biblical worldview. They walk away singing the songs that aren't teaching them anything. If you want proof, look at the state of our country, how much we have given up and given away. The church is not having the impact on society it once had.
The sad truth is, it's doubtful things will change. The leadership doesn't want to change things, they see this is working. Megachurches with the best worship keep growing. Worship leaders don't want to change this, they feel they are having a great impact. The entertained masses don't want to change this, they love the free show they can attend. We have gone so far down this road, it will take something disastrous to turn back. I don't see the worship trend changing unless this country makes it illegal to worship. Those just coming for entertainment will not come under threat of persecution. If the flashy show draws attention from a hostile government, it will go away. Then the faithful who are left will worship in a very different manner. They will sing Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs to one another without professionals, without solos and three-part harmonies. The music will become a teaching aspect of the church again, not an entertainment aspect. Emotional manipulation won't be a recipe for a large service, and then we may see revival in the church. Until then, it's an assembling of consumers for entertainment.
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