Have you ever been stressed out? Like really stressed out, like panic attack thought you were going to die stressed out? You probably have. I think we all experience moments of stress, and as I have aged, I have found several different types of stress and I am constantly learning how to manage them. Some are easier than others.
The first stress is in the moment stress that seems to come and pass very quickly. I was driving home last night on the interstate through town, and there was some construction with cones and moving lanes. It wasn't marked clearly and I moved left and suddenly I saw oncoming headlights. I thought somehow one of us was on the wrong side and I was about to get into a head-on accident on the interstate. Turns out that road just had a weird curve, I was where I was supposed to be, the other car was where they were supposed to be, we all lived. I had a moment where my heart lept into my throat, but then it was fine. The adrenaline coursed for a minute, then I calmed down, and within a minute or two, everything was fine. This is that "flight or fight" response that happens sometimes. I had a moment of panic, but then it was cool. We can't really do much about that stress, learn to try to remain composed when it happens, but biology does its thing and we have a little panic. Then we are good.
The second stress is what happens when you have deadlines. Last year, in my first year of teaching I also had classes and tests and evaluations to complete. There was a lot on my plate, and all of it was critical. If I didn't pass and complete all the objectives, I wouldn't get my teaching license and all my time, money, and effort would be for nothing. This was stressful, but ultimately I was in control. There was nothing I wasn't capable of, clearly because I passed and completed all the requirements. It was stressful, but the stress was managed by me tackling each assignment, assessment, and requirement. I was able to control the stress in some ways by having a good work ethic, time management, and having a plan. I managed to get it done and I managed the stress well.
The last time of stress is the stress that kills people. I am finding I have more of this stress as I get older, although early in my adult life I had a good amount. This is the stuff that is out of your control completely. When my parents were diagnosed with cancer, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Cancer and other illnesses, you can have treatments and take care of yourself, but in the end, it's out of your control. When you get laid off from your job, another experience I have, there is nothing you can do about it. You make a plan, you start looking for work, but there is a lack of control. As a parent, you live with this all the time. I can teach my kids, discipline my kids, do anything and everything I can to help them grow upright. In the end, they are going to make their own choices and decisions. This is stressful, especially when they are making choices that have major consequences. I experience this with students as well, they make choices that will hurt them in the long run, but there is little I can do. The students make their own choices.
When you have this last time of stress, it's bad. As I am writing this, I am sitting with a heating pad on my back, which is full of knots. I have had stress-induced pain for the last few weeks. It's awful and it keeps me from really enjoying life. So, I need to manage my stress in better ways. First thing I'm going to try? Prayer. I can't control many of the things that are causing me stress right now. I have no power to change things, so I seek God, who does have the power to change things. Prayer makes a difference and has multiple positive benefits. First, you are connecting with God, which is always a good thing. Second, when you are praying through an issue, you are also thinking through that issue and taking stock of what is really happening. We often create more stress by overstressing and underthinking. We think about all the stress we are under, but we don't always analyze the situation. Having some prayer time can help you do just that. Prayer is a type of meditation. Meditating on a problem is simply focused thinking and blocking out distractions.
Prayer, meditation, focusing on what you can do are all things you can do to begin to take control of the stress. Outside of this, there is really nothing we can do about most of these situations. In those cases, we must find things we can do to help cope and feel better. Take a walk or exercise, watch a movie or go to dinner with friends and family. Sometimes you have to treat yourself to something special to help get through a rough time. It can be really, really easy to let the stresser become the focal point of your life. Having a serious issue can devour your life and leave you in an emotional hole. It's critical to do the things necessary to stay out of that hole.
Know this, if something is causing you great stress, you are not alone. Everyone is dealing with something, struggling with something right now. Find those good people you can surround yourself with, people who care about you. Get rid of the negative and toxic people, do what is good for you and your family. Take control of the things you can control, and do what you can to let go for the things you can't control. It's hard work, and it will be exhausting at time. Know that it's ok to be exhausted sometimes, give yourself permission to take a break and step aside from the daily grind. Take care of yourself, step at a time, and you will get through this!
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