Church Issues #1 Leadership

Issue #1. Leadership.
Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't have church leadership. You should have church leadership, you should have a solid group of leaders who are dedicated to the principles of scripture. What would shouldn't have is the idol of leadership that exists in the church today. Leadership is more important that discipleship these days. You can find a ton of books, conferences, classes. My Master's Degree is in Educational Leadership from an SBC Seminary. Leadership is a big deal, it's big money and a huge focus.

The problem is, it's what we worship. Look at the leaders in your church, look at the people clamoring to be leaders in your church. We have leaders in church all over this country who bought and paid their way into the job. I know pastors who have done questionable things to get or keep their leadership. We know there are pastors being fired because they became abusive in their leadership. Power corrupts, and Pastors are being corrupted. Elders, Deacons, boards, overseers, entire groups of people are in love with their own power and position.  They cling to it like it's a pearl of great price. Most of my ministry career, I stayed in the 2nd fiddle job, this is where I wanted to be. I had no desire to be the lead pastor. From that vantage point, I could see the power hungry fighting to get influence. They used position, education, age, income, or longevity to fight for a claim the spots on the top of the hill.

I have said for years there are two types of people in church ministry and in leadership. The first are those who really love the church and feel a calling to serve God's people. These are in the minority. The second group is the people who just really want to be in charge. They have found a place to be in charge, the local church. They finally get to be in charge, and the often become dictatorial. You see these types of people in a couple of places, they are in charge of the church, homeowner associations (HOAs), and civic groups and organizations. Horror stories abound from these people, they often have a hard time getting along, they get in charge and stay there, they keep the leadership teams closed and tight. The young people that are added to the teams have either been in the organization (church) for many years, are related to the current leaders, or a combination of things. They are abusive, they want to keep things their way. They are not usually concerned with other people, they are not concerned with helping, growing, or supporting anything except their own position. If they want the organization to grow, it's for their own glory. If they want things to succeed, it is usually to make themselves look better.

There is a spiritual reality to this, one that is not comfortable, but we must address. There are many in church leadership today who are not saved. Pastors, elders, deacons, teachers, members who are in control of much of the church who are not saved. They serve with a passion and fire, but this doesn't mean they are controlled by the Holy Spirit. The religious leaders of Jesus day had a passion. Today we see Muslims, Buddhists, cult members and leaders all serve with a passion. People have a passion for politics, organizations, the military, and a host of other things. People can be passionate about the organization and programming of the local church, but not know Jesus.

Jesus told us this would be the case. In a passage we know pretty well in Matthew 7, Jesus tells us about people who serve Jesus without being saved. Jesus says:
21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' 23And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'

If we unpack that a little, we see these people preaching (prophecy) and doing ministry (casting out demons) in the name of Jesus. These are church leaders, Pastors, leaders, teachers, and people with influence inside of the local church. These are people who do a lot in the name of Jesus, but their motivation is themselves. They are motivated by leadership. They want to be in charge.

How do you recognize this? People who are in love with leadership focus on leadership. They talk all the time about it, they focus on it. They will talk about their prior leadership experience, they constantly talk about their qualifications. They will protect their authority at all cost, they will even destroy others, and they often do. If they feel threatened by someone, they will gossip, slander, criticize that person. They will seek to have others removed from positions if they feel them a threat. They are often angry or insecure. The position is their idol, and they will do whatever they need to do to protect it. Nothing they do is out of the range of ability for any leader in any secular arena, even if they are claiming God's blessing. Remember, a growing church is not always a sign of God's blessings. Muslims are a growing group. Gangs grow, the Mafia grew, this wasn't God's blessing. Wealth, success, fame, all these things are not a sign of God's blessings. They come on evil men all the time. A follower of Christ will be gentle, meek, and kind. They will not need to try to control or manipulate anything, but will simply do what is right. Of course, in all matters of church leadership, the Bible will be the standard and will do whatever needs to be done to follow the Bible, not the opinion of key or important people in the church.

If you find yourself in a church like this, especially if it's the Pastor or the key leadership, you need to get out. They are not going to step aside or take correction. You can pray for them, you can gently try to help, but if you find yourself in a full confrontation, nothing good will result. If it's not the Pastor, but some other leaders, you will have to decide what the impact will be to you and your family. Remember, Satan is real and he will put people in the church to bring it down from the inside. Paul writes to Timothy about this, and it still happens. If something is becoming destructive to your family, then you need to think about finding a new church. It's not easy, but fighting with these people is never productive. They will protect their power and position above all else. My hope is you will never have to deal with this level of power struggle, but with all the focus the modern American church has put on leadership, it's a real possibility. Power has long been an idol, Satan used it to tempt Jesus. Many in the modern church have fallen under its control.

Series: Where the "Good" Church Gets it Wrong

I love the church with all the flaws. I love the American church and I don't want to see it go away. I think the church is vital, but it's no secret that I am pretty disconnected from the church these days. After spending my early career in full-time vocational ministry, I have found several things that don't sit well in the local church. These are flaws that are often ignored and overlooked. These are deep-seated issues, problems that I believe need to be addressed, but get ignored.

I think it's pretty easy to see we have a lot of churches in this country that have turned away and flat out ignore the Bible. They have walked away from teachings on sex, marriage, homosexuality, the value of life, and a host of other issues. Churches have compromised on a myriad of social issues, and we have seen the liberal church embrace anything. There is a universal component to their salvation method that doesn't require Jesus. These churches are broken, and I'm not talking about these churches in this post. That's too easy. You can find the issues with the liberal church on your own. I'm talking about good churches, Bible-believing (mostly) who are trying to do the right thing and live by what the Bible teaches. For the most part, they are doing what they feel the Bible calls them to do. The issue is the problems that have crept in under the door that no one wants to talk about. Sometimes they are talked about, and often when they are, they are talked about as good things. They are focused on and highlighted. I have a feeling this may offend, and upset a few of you, and many of you won't agree with me. That's ok, I'm not Francis Chan, I know I can't say something like "you need to change your entire paradigm" and have you nod your head in agreement and solidarity and then not do any of it. I'm not a fool, I know that no one will read this and change the way they do church entirely, but maybe we can begin to change the nature of the church. Maybe someday we can solve these issues and make what I believe to be a more Biblically sound church in America.

The list is short, but my comments will be long, so instead of making this one post, I am going to break this up into several. Look for them, hope you will read and think about my position. I think we can really see great things happen for the church in America if we are willing to fix the things that are broken and address the things that hold us back. Change is hard, people don't like it and churches are very bad at it. In the end, I think these things will really help us reach a dying, lost and corrupt country. It starts at home.

The Parable of the Stone Wall

There was a country that had stone walls that were of high value. A young man in the country loved the walls and often came to sit by them. He wanted to help build the wall, but the men who built it told him "don't concern yourself with the work, just sit and enjoy the wall." The men at work were always nice to him, they greeted him, spoke with him. They would even share their lunch and give him water to drink. They would tell him about the wall, but never was he given the chance to help build the wall.

From time to time the young man would try to help, he would bring stone, but his stones were always rejected. The young man became frustrated. He wanted to help, to work but the men in charge of the wall refused to let the young man help. They would not teach him how to place stones or stack them. The boy began to show up less and less until one day he stopped coming. He lost all interest in the wall. Many young people became less interested in the wall. The wall builders were irritated with the young man. After all, they were nice to him, shared with him. They could not understand why the young man walked away. In the meantime, they continued to work, believing it to be too important to trust to anyone else.

I hope as you read, you understand.

To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question.....

Hi friends and readers and random folks who dropped by. It's been a while since I last posted. Back in July to be exact. I have had some changes happen since I last posted. I am currently teaching at a great school east of Sioux City. It's a small school in a small town with great people. The Principal is great, the Superintendent is great, the other teachers and staff are all great. The students are fun and I love being in the classroom with them, and all the parents have been supportive. It's been a great experience. It has been busy, along with teaching for my first year, I'm still in class. I'm in a non-traditional education program, so I teach my first year as an intern while taking classes and writing papers. It's been busy and a little stressful, hence my reason for not blogging much. . . or at all.

The other reason for my lack of blogging has been content a little. If you have been a reader of mine, you know that I blog about faith, the church, theology, and other topics of a Christian nature. You also know that the last 10 years have been difficult for me, coming to the Midwest has been an adjustment, more than just the weather and climate. The churches here are very different, and I haven't adapted well. I will hold off on elaborating, but I am less connected to a church at this point in my life than I have ever been in my previous 42 years. I don't want to just write post after post on all the problems that I see but at this point, I believe the church in America and the Midwest needs some major changes.

It's not that I've lost my faith, or that I don't believe the church to be valuable. I believe the church is the physical representation of the incarnate Christ on earth, with Christ as the head. This is core to my beliefs but also a large part of my struggle. Being in the midwest I have had some rejection by the church to various degrees. I was told point blank I wasn't good enough. The church, which is the body of Christ, is informing me I'm not sufficient. This has been pretty hard for me to deal with. The church was the one place I was able to find my place, to serve, to work, and to be successful. It was quickly taken away.

The point is, being disconnected has changed the nature of what I can and should write about. It has led me to the question of blogging at all. Do I just change the nature of my posts? Do I continue to blog but move away from the topic from the last 10 years? It's been a struggle to be sure, and I'm not exactly sure what direction I will go. I know I miss blogging and writing posts, but simply enjoying the process may not be reason enough for it to continue. I will give it time, see what direction fate swings me, and if I can think of interesting things to write to publish on a blog. If you have any input, feel free to share.

An Open Letter to God

7/30/2018

Dearest Heavenly Father,

     I am writing to you today on my blog because I want to encourage others and be humble and transparent before you and them. You have seen me struggle over the last few years. I have cried out because I have been hurt and I have felt abandoned. I set out to serve you in full-time vocational ministry, and when that dream ended and seemed to die, I felt lost. I didn't know what to do, I didn't really even know who I was anymore. I was going to stay where I was for years, at least until my kids were graduated, it was hard at times and I struggled, but I thought I could manage. I guess I couldn't, because just like that and it was gone. I went from job to job, looking for some kind of purpose and meaning. I failed each time, trying to do my own thing but unable to get any traction. On top of that, I knew about the slander that was being set about me by people who claimed they cared about me. I was being mocked and insulted and there was nothing I could say or do about it. I was hurt. I was heartbroken, depressed, and despondent.

     I felt rejected, and I felt ultimately I was rejected by you. I felt a call in my life to serve you, so I set out to do that, but I failed. I was even told I wasn't cut out to be in ministry. The one thing I had focused my efforts on for more than 20 years, and I was told I wasn't cut out for it, that I should pursue education. During this time, I became bitter, my heart grew hard and cold and I sinned in my anger. I was angry, incredibly angry and with no way to get rid of that anger, I pushed it down. I couldn't talk to anyone about it, I had to keep everything locked inside. As I choked on my bitterness and rage, I became more and more selfish. I didn't understand why this was happening, I couldn't understand why you felt so far away. You seemed silent and painfully absent. I lashed out, mostly at the church. I looked at the church as the people who wronged me, who took away my purpose and my joy. In reality, I wasn't mad at them. I was mad at you.

     I don't know why all this happened, and I don't know why you have led me here. I start this fall to be an English Teacher in Correctionville, Iowa. I am thrilled about it, and I know that I can do all the things you have called me to do in the classroom, just in a different way. I thought I understood when I was applying for jobs and the Christian School offered a job teaching English and Bible, and I was so encouraged until they wouldn't return any of my phone calls or emails. I didn't understand the rejection I felt I was getting, the void in heart continued to grow, and I have really struggled. I'm still really struggling, but I think I have found a little bit of joy and peace in the situation.

     I am a failure, of that I am sure. I have failed and I have lost and I have been disgraced. I am sure I needed to have those things happen, to become more like Christ. I have lost the job, the career that I loved, but it may not be forever. I may resume it some day. I have been hurt and mocked, slandered and ridiculed and it has made me humble. I understand now that I am a failure and nothing that comes from me is worth much of anything without your hand on it. I understand that I am nowhere near as self-sufficient as I want or wish I was. I know that I am frail and weak and fragile. I know that I am weak and you are strong and I need to have your strength to survive.

     I have been wrong, I have sinned against you, your people and your church. I have been angry and in that anger, I have sinned. I have been bitter, spiteful, envious, and arrogant. I ask that you and your people forgive me for the way I have handled the situation. I should have taken the example from Paul, as he was persecuted, slandered, thrown in prison, and in chains, he still rejoiced and praised your name. I am resolved to serve you and your people where I am, where you put me and where I find myself. I will do what I am called, what I am asked, and what I am handed. I am sorry for my attitude and my obstinant behavior. I repent of my behavior, and I ask for you to forgive me. Amen.

Your adopted son through Christ,
Dan

When You Just Can't Handle Church

I was once very critical of those who would quit church because someone hurt them. I had been hurt in church and I continued to attend. I served in church, I was involved and I put myself out there, feeling it was important to be at church. The hurt continued, and I continued to attend because, for me, the connection and community outweighed the hurt. It went on like that for me for a long time.

Until it stopped.

One day I realized my church didn't feel like a family. I was marginally connected. Work kept me away, I tried again and again but couldn't get connected. I was just attending, just spectating and I hated it. I became very detached, and I began to see and hear from many who felt this way all over the country. I began to notice the "it crowd" that I was once a part of, and the outside crowd that wasn't. I spoke up, I took notice.

And I was insulted and criticized for it.

The last straw for me was when I was insulted and told it was all my fault, I was a bad person, a bad husband, a crappy father. This person knows about me, but they don't know me but decided it was their responsibility to put me in my place. To make sure I knew my place. I was to fall in line with the expectations, to "get involved" even though I tried for years, it was my fault. This person sat behind me in church for most of my time there, so I suppose that gave them the knowledge to tell everyone on my social media how awful I am since they could see me every week. They didn't think I was as engaged as I should be, and I was a horrible example and I needed to shut up and fall in rank and file.

I broke. Attending any service at that church left me feeling battered, angry and isolated. All I see is fake smiles, knowing that I am being critiqued, they had already told me. I was informed that I don't cut it. I'm not acceptable to these people.

Now I could go find another church, but that requires me pulling my family away, they have had a very different experience than I have. I can't take my kids from a place they live to be, and I think the youth pastor is great. I enjoy the preaching but I'm just attending, just sitting and expending all my energy trying to forgive, be at peace and suppressing the urge to run. Being at the church is emotionally exhausting. If I go elsewhere, I drag my family away. If I don't go, then at least they go without me. I try to go, but at this point, I can't get the energy to even force myself. It might not be so bad, but my church experience over the last 8 years is being told why I don't measure up.

Now if every time you went to a family gathering, they told you why you sucked, would you want to go? How much would be too much? I struggle constantly with my needs and being/feeling selfish and my exhausted spirit. Knowing I'll never really be part of this church, I'll always be a spectator. I've shared this, many in the church know how I feel, and like I've shared, they have made me know how they feel. In the end, I feel alone, and I'm not alone in feeling alone.

As I have gone through the criticism, the rejection of the last 6 to 8 years, I've seen I'm not alone. The church in this country has hurt a lot of people. I'm not talking about accepting and accommodating sin. I'm not suggesting the church should "lower its standards" but I have seen a trend I find disturbing. The church is becoming a business, and that business is performing. We have moved from community to mega. The result is people have become spectators rather than participants. The focus is the stage, and growth has led our churches to a franchise. The church doesn't want people to serve, they want to serve the most people, so a business mindset, consumer model had appeared. 

The result is the death of Christian discipleship, the death of Sunday School.
It's no secret I'm a Sunday School guy. The reason is simple when you do it right, it works. You can get people involved, they can serve and connect, you can tie outreach and fellowship and missions to Sunday School. It can drive the ministry of the church. We have abandoned it for lesser things. Small groups are great, but won't replace Sunday School. We have teaching classes with our popular leaders and teachers, but it won't replace Sunday School. Our discipleship time has become entertainment, where we think what we need is classes where people get up and lecture. We have forgotten the basics of teaching, that you teach by showing and doing together. You lead people to opportunity to serve and you walk with them. Jesus picked 12 guys and gave them jobs to do and roles to perform. Those 12 guys (minus one of them, who was replaced) taught other guys by doing ministry with them. They did the same, but now we have lectures, performances, and events. We don't serve, and even the service becomes a show.

Of course, these are generalized statements, and I'm sure I will get the typical feedback, that I need to quit complaining and get involved. I'm not worried about me, my heart breaks for all those who will never stick around long enough to get the criticism that will eventually chase them away. Those who came in and felt out of place and tried to connect and failed and left. They will probably never return to church. I'll go back to a church someplace at some point. Many of those left broken never will. They don't see a point, why risk it? Why risk being out of place, feeling alone and going somewhere that they are going to listen to someone who is going to be on a podcast in a few days? As much as I love my Pastor, I can listen to hundreds of sermons all week long. I can listen to him, I can listen to Chuck Swindoll or David Jeremiah or Alister Begg (who I really enjoy). I can get Bible teaching online, on the radio, on the tv. I have Christian friends I see and talk too, so I don't forsake assembling together, so why attend a place that makes me miserable? We need to realize that there are many, many asking themselves that question. They can get teaching, preaching and fellowship outside the church, at a higher quality than the local church can offer them.

Here is my question, as you think of all your critical remarks for me for writing them, for those who are not attending (and not tithing), why should they come to your church? What benefit does it have for them? Sure, it gives you a bigger congregation, more help (if you ever need it and don't use your inner core group), and more giving units. People coming to your church helps you and helps your church, but does being in your church benefit them? Are they encouraged, restored, rested and uplifted? Don't ask the people who are there, ask those who have left, if you can still find them. Ask the people who are hurting them, not the person who leaves the critical and hateful comments on their social media.

Just a thought.

Truth is, You're a Jerk

During my day, I often find myself with some young guys, and we get into conversations about life. One day, we were talking about the flaws in socialism. I decided to share the deepest flaw is socialism, which is this idea that deep down, we are good people and we all what to do what's right. This is false, not just a little false, but horribly false. We are all selfish jerks. We are selfish, self-seeking, self-centered, mean jerks. I am, you are, we just are. Are you offended I called you a jerk? How dare I make a judgment about you? See, you are being self-centered again, only thinking about how I view you. We are all jerks.

Here is how I illustrate it to my young friends. First, let me ask you a question, how does a nice person react when they are cut off in traffic? Do they just smile and wave? They slow down, let the person in and forgive? Probably. How do you react when you are cut off? Is that your first instinct to smile, wave and just forgive the person? If you answered no, you just admitted you are not a nice person. Your first instinct, to get even or be kind? To assert your rights or to let the other person have their way? To stand up for yourself, or just let it go?

I can hear your excuses "I don't want to be a doormat, I'm going to take care of myself". Of course, you are, we are wired that way. We are wired for self-preservation, it's one of our traits we are born with. We cry when we are hungry or uncomfortable, no baby stops to think about mom. No infant stops to consider if mom is tired and needs extra sleep, they cry to get needs met. We are selfish, we are born that way. We stay that way. We just learn to be better at it, we learn to look better while being selfish, we learn that we need to act nice and behave well so that people will want to be around us. We treat others well, usually because we get what we want. We treat people we love well so they will be around us. Do you treat the people you can't stand as well? Probably not.

Finally, it's true that we are all jerks because we are inclined to evil. We struggle to behave, we have temptations to do bad, sometimes we resist, sometimes we give in. It's a struggle to do what's right, it's a struggle to avoid doing what's wrong. We don't struggle to do the wrong thing, that's easy. Giving into the dark side, that's easy, it's behaving that's harder. Being mean, hateful and spiteful is easy, it's forgiving and loving and kind that is a struggle. Being angry and selfish is easy. Giving and calm and patient, that is hard. Ya, it's hard to be good, because we are what? That's right, we are all jerks.

You're a jerk, but that's ok cause so am I. Let's just try to get through this together!