Want To Feel Like a Failure? Teach!

 I had a rough day. I love being a teacher, I really enjoy students, and I worked pretty hard to get here. This year more than any other, there is a lot of pressure. First, you have the pressure to teach your students all the things they are supposed to know. They have to pass this test every year. While teaching them, you need to make sure they are behaving like they are supposed to behave. They don't want to behave, they don't really want to learn, and they definitely don't want to do any work. The first layer of pressure is from students. Some of your students will not behave, will not do the work, and will not pass the test. The first feeling of failure is when you can't manage your classroom like you are told to. You can't manage it like the videos of the teacher you are measured next too. Your students argue, talk back, get out of control, don't study, don't hand in assignments and generally seem like they don't care Students tell you how they would rather sleep, party, play xbox, or do anything other than what you are asking of them. They tell you your class is stupid and boring and you suck at your job. You are informed they learn nothing and its a waste of their time

With the students informing you that you are a failure, you have parents. Don't get me wrong, most parents are great. Some are very involved and will back you up. There are some who are not involved and won't back you up. There are some that will believe whatever their child says. There are some who just aren't around. The struggle comes in when a parent is upset because you didn't teach them enough, didn't treat them right, or had to correct them when they are out of line. I have really had a great experience with parents at my school, but this is a general statement about teaching. I have been lucky, not everyone has been. Dead beat parents exist, the parents who let the kids disrespect them, cuss them out and behave however they want. If they do this at home, they want to do it at school. If as a teacher you try to stop this behavior, you are the bad guy. The second failure is the parents.

Third level is when you struggle with school leadership. Principals, coaches, directors, HR, and other people in various leadership positions. Like the parents, most administrators are great people and work very hard. To be fair, I am sure 99% of school principals can write this blog about expectations and feel like a failure because of students, parents, teachers, the community, the school board, and on and on. Since I'm not a principal, I won't write that blog. Now I have a great principal. My wife has a great principal. Not all principals are great. Some are not involved, do very little, and don't support the teachers. Some make life almost unbearable for teachers. All principals have high expectations, and they should and they have to. They have to find things for you to improve, and if you aren't perfect, you need to improve. Many of us who are teachers, try as hard as we can. I pour out everything I have during the day. I often feel sorry for my last 2 classes of the day because often I have little to nothing left. I don't feel like I can do anymore, but there are things I have to do. I have to do more, and they will point out what I need to improve and fix. I feel like I have failed when they tell me what is wrong. It comes with any profession like teaching when you must improve. It's hard, and it often leaves you feeling like you failed.

As a teacher, you often feel like you are stuck. You are stuck between students and other students, or a student and another teacher, or between two teachers. You can't solve, fix, or manage everything. Especially with Covid, we have added things we have to attend too. I have to teach, manage my class, improve in my teaching, and keep kids safe from a virus. This is rough when the rules and guidelines have changed a dozen times. My students think I make stuff up, they forget to wear a mask, they don't social distance and I have to mitigate these situations. If a student gets sick, I feel responsible. One more area that I can feel like I fail.

The sad reality is you will fail someone. You will miss someone, you will mess something up, you will fail to connect with a student. It will happen. Teachers teach because we care about students and the weight of that is crushing. Students say things that wound your soul. You aren't supposed to take any of it personally, you are supposed to just brush it off, after all, you are the adult and the professional. It sounds good in theory, but pouring your heart and soul out for a student who turns around and tells you how horrible you are, it leaves an emotional scar. Students lash out because of discipline, because of poor grades, because they are bored or frustrated or just angry. We have to carry all that, and not let it get to us. When it does, it is another failure. Teaching can be hard, teaching during a pandemic is even harder, and teaching during a pandemic during a highly polarizing election has been the thing of nightmarish. I will keep doing it, keep trying to do my best because I do have great students and great parents and great administrators at a great school. Some days are just hard, even in Australia.