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Wednesday, March 7, 2018

How To Stop School Shootings

It's an ambition title I realize, but with all the debate, I think it's time for a little honesty here. We have talked about gun control, security, background checks, mental health but none of those things are the answer. Violent video games and movies aren't the issues, comic books or graphic novels aren't to blame, in fact, there is no object, program, or event that we can point too. We have created the issue of what causes school shootings and it took years and years to get to where we are. It didn't happen overnight, it didn't happen because of a lack of funding for mental health or because of 30 round magazines. There was a progress that happened.

First, we removed the ability of kids to deal with hardship and adversity. They don't know how to lose or how to fail. Everyone has a good self-esteem, so when they don't, they don't have any coping skills or coping mechanism. Next, students have been abandoned, they are living in single-parent homes, split and blended family and kids are so busy they can't connect and have real relationships at home. They no longer taught about respect, and as a result, there is a lack of respect. Many of the youth today believe that they should be respected by adults before they show the adult respect. That isn't the way this is supposed to work.

Youth are told their feelings are the most important things. They should be safe from being emotionally hurt, they shouldn't be triggered, they should be able to choose their gender. They are told they can be whatever they want, and they shouldn't have to work or struggle for it, that they should be taken care of. There is another opportunity for them to miss having coping skills. They don't know how to handle their anger or their disappointment. They can't cope, and they don't cherish life. They believe in abortion, they embrace evolution and they see no real value in life. They are overwhelmed with her feelings and nothing to hold it in check. The get a weapon and they kill others.

There is a long way to go to get back to where we need to be. We need to value people, not marginalize people. We need to value life and freedom, but we need to teach hardship and show students that they can fail and it's ok. Students need to experience heartbreak, they need to lose games and fail at tasks, it's the only way to learn. They need to learn coping skills, how to deal with rage and anger and bitterness. Finally, they need to understand they can't control or change whatever they want. Some things just are the way they are. They need to learn respect, the value of hard work and how to be the bigger person in a hard situation. We have failed to teach our kids to become good people and now they are shooting each other at school.

We can't fix this with a law or armed guards, but it's how we fix it. It's not quick or easy or simple, but it wasn't quick or easy or simple that got us here. It was a long, ugly and nasty road that led us to where we have found ourselves. It's time to move back to where we need to be.

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