So when you struggle with being unhappy, the constant struggle is a mental struggle. The question haunts me "why isn't God enough" ? Shouldn't I be ok on my own in the desert with just my Bible and prayer? I know the Apostles Paul said he was content with having plenty or little. What's wrong with me? Why can't I be happy with where I am and what I have?
I think the answer is in my in my ability to be happy sometimes. When I'm doing what I love and teaching or leading or sharing I'm happy. When I'm developing people and helping them use their skills and gifts, I'm happy. When I'm doing what I feel called to do, I'm happy. So the simple question arises, why don't I do those things more? Well my problem is mostly time. I work a lot and I have a family. Not a lot of time to pursue outside ministry times. I have been limited in opportunity as well. I don't have the resources to really do all I feel I'm capable of.
I think Paul struggled during times or inability to minister. In prison he found his outlet in letter writing. Right now blogging is most of what I have. You all as my readers and friends bring me happiness. I feel isolated those times I work long hours with long drive times. I am just not motivated by the idea of making lots of money. Being in a sales motivated world and being driven to want to help people is hard. I am not driven to sell, making lots of money isn't my focus. I like the ability to help people and teach people how to deal with life's pests.
So, isn't God enough? He made Adam and said this isn't good, he needs someone. Jesus took some followers and told them to share and make groups of people called to be together. The Greek term we use for church is basically a group of people called to come together. We are told to be together. We are called to help and minister together. I think we will find more happiness when we serve together and serve each other. I'm going to keep working towards that goal.
"Well my problem is mostly time. I work a lot and I have a family." Can I maybe make a suggestion that you not look at your family as a problem that keeps you from your "ministry" and start looking at them as your greatest calling as a husband and a father. Develop within your growing children their gifts from God. Teach and lead them to love and follow Him. You wrote that work and family are part of your problem, but that your readers and friends bring you happiness. Sorry man, I think your priorities are a little off unless your wife and children are reading your blogs and gaining great spiritual growth because of them. Trying to save those around you and concentrating on their lives more than those within your walls at home has not produced great outcomes for you. Praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean to imply that my family is a problem and keeps me from being happy. I'm always amazed at how people ignore the big message and key in on one little thing that isn't even what was intended. Reminds me of the English Prof who thought stopping by the woods on a snowy evening was about Santa Claus.
DeleteThe point of saying I have a family is to say i spend my time with them when I can. The focus is I work a lot and I don't have enough free time to give to my other passions. I think what vexes me the most is you read those few words and automatically assumed the worst about me. Thanks for the comment anyway.