Saturday, November 7, 2015

Reflections on the Occasion of my 39th Birthday

I'm 39 today. I have 365 days left to be in my 30s before I turn 40. It's been a great decade and a not so great decade. I got my master's degree, we had my youngest, moved half way across the country, got and lost the job I always wanted. I learned a lot of new things, like how to make soy protein isolate and I'm currently learning how to bat proof a house. Had some surgeries, wrote a lot of stuff and had a roller coaster of a time. I have one more year of my 30s, I guess I should make it count.

I never imagined this is where I would be at the verge of 40. I assumed I would be teaching in a church someplace, or in a school or both. I never imagined I would be a wildlife tech. Maybe I would be planting a church, but I'm happy I am working with a new church plant. I thought I may have a book published, hoping that still happens before I'm 40. The thing I put on Kindle doesn't count. Still, I think things are going ok as I move towards midlife.

I have some regrets and some heartache. There are things I wish for and hope for and long for. I'm not in the career that I want, and not where I wanted to be, but I know God is sovereign. It might be that I will never really do much of significance in my life, but it will be significant in the Kingdom. No one will really know or care much of who I am or what I do, but that's ok.  In the same way, if I do something that changes the world for the better and advances the kingdom, I am open and excited for that too.

Here is to 39, to the grey hair, teenage kids, creaky knee and sore back. Here is a couple of degrees that are doing me little to no good, and the bills that come with them I still have to pay. Here is too the short weekends, long weeks, unanswered questions and unfulfilled dreams. More than that, here is too a year full of God's grace and mercy for me, to looking for Him for my sense of worth and my joy and peace. I don't know what this year will hold, but I'm excited to find out. Thanks for coming along with me.

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