Pain

Do you like pain? Probably not, most of us don't. I know I have a cabinet full of things to help get rid of pain. Tylenol, Advil, and some prescription medications. Physical pain is horrible, but I think there are many cases in which we enjoy and saver emotional pain. People say things, and we take it the most negative way possible, we start conflict and drama and issues because we become addicted to it. It makes us feel important, alive and powerful when we have anger and rage and we become defensive. It gives us things to talk about, something to focus on and it keeps our lives from being empty. It keeps us from being alone, empty and vulnerable. If we stay on the offensive, or if we stay offended then no one can sneek up and hurt us. We are already hurt, and that gives us control. When things calm down, we find drama or create drama or find the people who fill our lives with emotional trauma.

I believe it's an addiction. Physical pain becomes an addiction, everything from cutting to weight lifting becomes addicting because it releases endorphines. Emotional pain because addicting because of the power we feel like it gives us. It gives us purpose, makes us feel stronger and more powerful. Pain gives us focus, gives us something to concentrate on and leave the rest of the world behind. We can get into conflict and use it to excuse other parts of our lives, to ignore and block them out. Maybe that is why so many of our conflicts are self-induced and so many are very trivial. We avoid the serious things, and get caught up in petty and in-consequential things. I think we need a recovery program for the emotional trauma addict.