Do You Know Who You Are?

 I have discovered something in my years of working with people. We have this strong desire to protect ourselves, our ego is very fragile. The person we are most afraid of is often ourselves. We are really scared of hurting our own psyche, and so we protect ourselves by lying to ourselves. Most people don't really know themselves. Here is a little test you can take.

First off, ask yourself, what types of movies do you like? What types of TV shows? What types of music? Have a good list? Good, now why are those your favorite? What things are triggered in you to make you like those things? What causes you to choose the people you call friends? What makes you like the colors you enjoy? What shapes your outlook? Most people have no idea why they like the things they like or see the world the way they do.

Want to go deeper? What are you really afraid of? What really gives you joy? What is the best thing in your life? What things in your life do you need to change or get rid of to live a better life? These are hard questions for most of us, we struggle to really know who we are, or more importantly, what drives and motivates us.

The problem with this is we seldom grow on our own to be better people. Most of the time, if we do improve it is because someone else pushes us. We need people who can see the things in us that we can't (or won't) see in our own lives. We need parents, teachers, leaders, bosses, managers, pastors, friends, and colleagues to really help us see who we really are. We need to acknowledge the fact that we lie to ourselves in order to protect ourselves. We wear a mask, we make-believe with ourselves. We try to pretend we are more than we are. . . to ourselves. Don't be afraid to admit you are flawed and broken. Don't be afraid you admit you can be better, and don't be afraid to try. The biggest and scariest step can be the step of being honest with yourself. Maybe it's time to take a moment to get to know the real you.

When Someone Is Hard On You

 There is a TV I use to watch called Scrubs. In the show, the attending doctor was really hard on the intern/resident. At one point during the show, the resident upsets the attending in a very personal way, and he is no longer harder on him. He doesn't give him a hard time, he doesn't insult him, he is simply polite. The young resident realized that the doctor no longer cares. He learns that the attending doctor was the way he was because he really saw potential in him and wanted to push him.

As a teacher, I find myself being hard on students because I see the potential. I push them and I am hard on them because I know what their capacity is. I want the students to push past their limits, to grow and get better. I think if I didn't care about my students, I wouldn't get frustrated, I wouldn't push them, I wouldn't be hard on them. I would just expect the bare minimum. 

Who is hard on you in your life? Who pushes you, expects more, challenges you? I hope that someone in your life sees the potential in you, who you can be, and not just who you are. We are all capable of being more, of being better, and of growth. You should never stop learning and getting better. Find someone who you push you to be a better version of yourself. Find someone you can encourage to be a better person.

Back to the Blog

Guess who's back, back again?
Dan is back with this blog and pen. 

Ok, there is no pen and I'm no Slim Shady. Many of you probably have no idea what that is even if reference too and that isn't a bad thing.

So I am back on the blog again. I have had quite the hiatus. Things are. . . not normal. You know that. With Covid restrictions and the new crazy world we live in, things are crazy. I am in my 3rd year of teaching, and it's been a new experience. We have some new curriculum and new software platforms. We are in the classroom, but sometimes quarantine raises its heads. It's been a never-ending transition. Combine that with the upcoming Presidental election and all the stuff that comes with that, added with the division in our country there is a lot of stress. It seems like we are on the verge of civil war some days. 

In the midst of everything happening, I have decided to blog again. If you are familiar with my blog, some of it is for me. It's an outlet, a platform, a place for me to unload. I write to help myself write and I write because I enjoy writing. I hope you enjoy reading and what I write is somewhat helpful. My goal is to be positive and encouraging, to not hit too much political or controversial stuff. This blog was mainly started as a theological posting, and I will try to stay with my roots as much as possible. I have some pretty strong views on the Christian faith as well as spirituality and the nature of man. I also really enjoy working with students and helping them as they grow and mature. As a life coach, I enjoy helping people find joy and passion in what they do. I hope to be able to write some things that help you feel empowered, find joy, and get focused in life. If you have any requests, shoot me an email at jdanbarnes@gmail.com.

I hope to be finishing up another book soon, so keep posted for that. My goal is to post at least 3 times a week. I have also toyed with the idea of a YouTube channel. Might be cool. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me over the last 12 years. I am hoping to rekindle my joy and having fun connecting with you all with this platform!