When You Don't Know What to Do (Or When It's Just Not Working)

There are days when I feel like I have no idea what I should do. Some days I wonder if there is really anything I can do. Let me explain. As a High School teacher, there is often a struggle. Some students just aren't interested in what you are teaching. There are a variety of reasons for this, and for the most part, I knew this was the case. I teach an English class, and some students don't like English. There is a lot of reading involved, and most students don't like reading. My job is to get them to do things they don't really want to do. There are some days when I am successful and many days when I have no idea what to do.

I also am the interim pastor at a small church here in Iowa. The church is small, the town is small, and the surrounding communities are small. The church has been through some hard times with losing pastors, plus Covid. All of these things compounded making it hard to see growth in the church. I have studied church growth, and I have tried many of the things I have learned over the years to build and grow a church. We have seen some people come and go over the two years I have been there. I am just not sure what to do.

What do you do when you don't know what to do, or what you thought you should do isn't working? Maybe it is in your job, you are not getting the results you want. Maybe it is in your personal life, you can't figure out what you are doing wrong. Maybe you can't find a way to get your health to improve or your finances. There are lots of areas where things begin to go wrong and we can't figure out the right answer. What do you do? What do I do?

Sometimes, I have to put my 'life coach' hat on with myself. As an experienced life coach, I can tell you that this is true for everyone at every time. We all wish we could get consistent results every time we did something. We all have these struggles in multiple areas of our lives. The fact is, life is not a constant. That means that it doesn't stay the same, life is a variable. There are so many things that change the parameters that you can't just expect a 1 to 1 ratio. We want life to be like a vending machine. You put the money in, and the drink comes out. Life is more like a slot machine. You put the money in, pull the handle, and hope for the best.

What do we do? First, don't give up. When you are doing the right thing, but not getting the results, don't quit. If you are trying to get healthy, eat right and exercise. You won't get healthy if you give up and eat junk food. It may take longer, it may be harder, but don't quit. In some areas, there are shades of gray, like teaching high school or fighting depression. Don't give up, keep doing the right things.

Second, be cautious of shortcuts. If you find a program that promises to fix your problems, it will probably only succeed to separate you from your money. Shortcuts rarely have positive long-term outcomes. It may work in the short term, but things often end up worse than they started. A quick fix is seldom quick or a fix.

Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help. Look for help, find answers. Understand that the road to any improvement will be long and bumpy. As you continue to do the right things, learn as much as you can. Learn about what you are trying to accomplish, see what others have done, and look for principles. Read books, look at data and information, and take classes. Keep learning and finding new answers. It is a long road, it is bumpy and hard, but hard work pays off in the end. Quitting doesn't fix the issue, shortcuts won't fix it, and being impatient won't fix it. The only way to really address the issue is to do the right thing and gain new skills.

Listen, I know it is hard and there is lots of struggle. The only way forward is to keep going forward. Don't give up, and when you get to the end and look back, you will see how far you made it. Along the way, others will be blessed and you will make a strong impact. Keep going, don't quit. You got this.

Effort is a Skill

 As a High School teacher, I have seen how vital, and often rare effort is. I have come to the conclusion that effort is a skill. It has to be learned and instilled. We have assumed that everyone can make an effort, but I am starting to think that isn't true. I think you must be taught how to put forth an effort. In years and decades past, it was assumed we could all put forth a good effort because we were expected to. We learned early and often to put forth an effort. As time has passed, technology has increased and people have more leisure, I think we have passed the tipping point where we can just expect people to know how to put in a good effort.

The expectations have been lowered, the excuses have been made, and the participation trophies have been given out. We have done too much to shelter and protect kids in our modern culture, they don't know how to try. They expect to be given what they want, they want a handout. There is a concerted lack of effort on the part of many of the students. It is more than not caring, it's like they don't even know how to care. They don't understand the reward of hard work, they take little pride in a job well done. They rush through everything and do it halfway so they have more time for idle things.

This is not the case across the board, and there are some who have learned effort. I am not talking about specifics, I am talking only in generalities. I am sure it has also been a slow fade over decades to where we are today. To be honest, there is not going to be an easy fix either. We have arrived at the place we are today be millions of choices over years. It didn't happen overnight and it won't be fixed overnight. The only option we have is to recognize the error and begin to push back the other way. To begin to celebrate hard work. We must return to the day when the heroes are those who do great things, and not internet celebrities and media influencers. The culture can be saved, but it is going to be a long and difficult road back. I for one am worried, because it will take effort, and I am not sure we have enough left to get back.

Anxiety

 Anxiety is on the rise for many people, and I am one of them. When I was younger, I never struggled with anxiety. These days, however, the amount of pressure that I am under (and often put myself under) has caused me some trouble. As a teacher, there is a great deal of pressure from every side. Working with a room of High School students can be stressful, and the ones who are defiant cause anxiety to increase. Add parents and society at large, combined with the pressure of test scores and student achievement, I struggle with anxiety every morning.

It feels like we are all constantly in the public eye, thanks to cell phones and social media. People can take pictures and videos of you almost anytime. Cameras are everywhere, and any mistake you make is quickly posted. If you park badly, your car will be posted all over social media with comments about how stupid and incompetent you are. If you posted something wrong when you are young, it comes back to haunt you. Add cancel culture and the eagerness of many to be offended, and anxiety is just a reality.

I have found that many people deal with anxiety in very unhealthy ways. The younger generations that I work with have dealt with anxiety through forms of abandonment. They don't care, they don't try, they don't participate, and they don't show up. The concept of "quiet quitting" is an example. When the anxiety gets too high, the pressure to perform in order to get ahead, they quit doing any extra. They do exactly what is expected of them, and nothing more. I believe this is a result of the pressure and anxiety combined with the feeling of always being watched and on display.

There are healthy ways to deal with anxiety. First, understand that anxiety is a part of life but it doesn't have to be a driving force. Like anger, sadness, or regret, these negative emotions can be felt but not allowed to control your life. If you feel anxiety, understand that it doesn't have to control you. You push through it and move forward. Anxiety doesn't control you. As you feel the anxiety, call it what it is, a feeling. On a deeper level, anxiety is a low-brain emotion. Anxiety exists to keep us safe and give us pause. It should be the feeling you have when you are walking through the woods and see a bear. Your first instinct should be to not get mauled, not to pet the bear. These emotions are in the lower parts of your brain, the fight or flight areas. These are instincts, but they don't have to control you. In the higher parts of your brain, you have rational areas that can think through the issues. Bears are dangerous, but a room full of high school students who don't want to listen is not a threat to my health and safety.

Anxiety is a low-brain reaction, and faith is a high-brain reaction. A great way to push through anxiety is to remember what the Bible says. We remember what Paul tells us in Romans 8, and if God is for us, who can be against us? We remember what Paul says in 2 Timothy, that God has not given us a spirit of fear. God has given us the ability to push through our anxiety through rational thinking, faith, and perseverance. Keep moving forward, trust God, and know you have it within yourself to overcome.

Finally, some anxiety needs some medical attention. If you have crippling anxiety, know that is a medical issue and you need to talk to your doctor. Our brain is a very specialized tool, and sometimes the calibration is off. The neurotransmitters can be unbalanced causing anxiety and depression. This isn't something you can just overcome with willpower, so talk to your doctor. There are tools and resources to help you, like medication or types of therapy. Know that this will not take 100% of the anxiety away, but it will get you to a place where you can begin to use the higher brain functions of faith and perseverance. Sometimes it takes a combination of things to get through the day, so don't be ashamed if you need those tools.

Life is hard, and anxiety is real. My goal today is not to downplay or dismiss what you feel, because your feelings are real. My goal today is to encourage you that even though you feel anxious and it is hard to get going, you can do it. God has given you what you need, and moving out of that "fight or flight" and into using our faith and confidence we can find in Christ. You can do this, just one step at a time.

When Bad Things Hit You Like a Brick

 Bad things happen in life. Bad things happen in life to everyone, and sometimes things are really, really bad. I sometimes get asked why God allows these things to happen. I have even been asked by people if God hates them. The reason is simple, yet very complex. God allows us freedom and freedom can cause pain. Let me unpack.

God allows you to make the choices to do what you choose. He allows you to choose to do good, to be kind. He allows you to love and support and care for people. He also allows you to do harm and make bad decisions. All of the bad things in life come as either a direct or indirect result of sin. I am going to use an example to help illustrate this point, our friend the brick.

If you take a brick and throw it straight up in the air and it comes down, it can hit you in the head. This is a result of gravity, a natural law that God put in place for many good reasons. Without it, we would float away and all die. Gravity is necessary, and God allows you to throw the brick. The natural consequences are that it comes back down and hits you in the head. You can blame God, but it is not God's fault, you have no one to blame but yourself. If you are honest with yourself, many of the issues in your life come down to your actions. The decisions you make, or sometimes your inaction, result in the situation. It may be harsh to say, but it is true. You threw the brick and it hit you in the head.

More sinister is when someone else throws the brick. People have the freedom to be awful, and often bricks get thrown. Bricks get thrown a lot, and sometimes we get blindsided by bricks flying out of seemingly nowhere. This is where a lot of our pain comes from. It can be easy to put this on God, but it is the freedom that God gives all of us. We can desire that God will limit the freedom of others, but none of us want God to limit our freedom. We each want the freedom to do what we want, but we expect God to stop others. We don't want others to lie to us, but do we lie? We don't want others to talk badly about us, but do we talk badly about others? Either we all have freedom, or none of us have freedom. If you want the freedom to do what you want, others get freedom and sometimes that freedom is abused and causes pain.

The last flying brick is the most complicated to understand. Sometimes in the course of life, bricks get thrown, tossed, knocked over, or flung great distances. It can seem like no one's fault, but the bricks suddenly come flying from nowhere and hit us. Illness, accidents, and hardships are not the direct action or result of us or someone else. These things exist because of the flaws in the world, flaws that result from sin. Death itself is a result of sin and all the negative things can be tied to sin, death, and the knowledge of good and evil. The world as it exists is filled with pain that can be linked to evil. For example, many cancers are caused by pollutants and chemical exposures, many of which are the results of companies cutting corners and causing pollution. These pollutants enter the air and water and as a result, people become ill. These indirect things cause us problems, but every one of them is the result of the fallen nature of the world. They are not necessarily the result of our decisions as individuals, but they are the result of the freedom of choice given to mankind. Everything ties back to the first wrong choice and escalates with every wrong choice that has been made since.

In fact, it is a miracle that anything good actually happens to us. With all the bad choices we make, with all the ways we hurt one another and ourselves, it is a gift of God that we have the blessings we do. God continues to give us good things, even when we do horrible things. Romans 5:8 says that while we were sinners, Christ died for us. We betrayed God, and He gave us a way to fix what we broke. That is amazing, and every blessing we have is a direct result of His love for us. Every bad thing in our lives is the result of the poor choices we make. I am not sure how I have so many blessings, since I made so many horrible decisions. I am thankful that I have so few bricks that come into my life.

The Cell Phone Problem No One Can Fix

 Most of you know me and know I'm a High School teacher. I will tell you as a teacher and from other teachers, I know that cell phones are a nightmare. I think many teachers are leaving the profession because we just can't compete anymore. We just can't do it, it is awful. My district has said no more cell phones in class, and the punishment can be as severe as an alternative school. May seem drastic, but it is not. Cell phones are ruining our students.

As a teacher, telling my students to put their phones away is equal to killing their puppy. I get called every name under the sun, yelled at, ignored, and disrespected constantly for a cell phone policy that I didn't create. If you want to see something similar, take a smoker and hide their cigarettes. These students are addicted, and when you cut off that addiction, they can act like addicts.

What makes it worse is the enabling parents who are addicts and don't support what we are doing. Most of the parents are great, but some say "I just don't see the big deal". I will tell you the big deal, and many will say I'm overreacting, but Google is running our country. The younger generations no longer think, they just google it, or ask Siri. They no longer have critical thinking skills, they just accept whatever the cell phone tells them. They get info from Instagram and Snapchat, but they have no clue what is actually happening. Google tells them what to think, what to support, and how to feel. When you cut them off from this, they lose their minds.

Teachers are suffering because of cell phones. We can't teach, we are constantly at odds with distracted students. Cheating is out of control, students are emboldened to defy a teacher, and TikTok trends are encouraging all sorts of negative behavior. Our society is speeding down a road of destruction and it begins when a kid gets their first smartphone and social media account. They do not have the ability to turn it off, put it down, and pay attention during a school day. They have no idea why it is important to learn anything. It is dangerous when people just give up control, but that has happened, and it has happened on our watch.

I wish I had an answer to put in this section of my post. I don't. I have no idea how to fix this issue. Cell phones and social media are not going away. This is not going to change. The best we can do is to continue to talk about it. Continue to teach kids the whats and the whys of education and life. We can't give the ability of Google or Apple to control the thought process of the young. We need to teach them to think critically. It will be a long fight, a hard fight. Please pray for teachers, educators, parents, and others who work with these kids. It is a hard-fought battle.

You Must Choose

 There are several places where the phrase is repeated in popular culture. I can hear the phrase echo in different voices, you must choose. 

Palpatine tells Anakin to choose the Jedi or the Sith. 

The knight tells Indiana Jones he must choose the right grail. 

The Architect tells Neo that he must choose to save Zion or Trinidy. 

In the original Spider-Man with Toby McGuire, Green Goblin tells him that some villain will come along with "a sadistic choice". He can save Mary Jane, or an elevator car full of school kids.

These are just a few examples that pop into my head, and choice is a pretty big deal. As a Wovenist (you can read Biblical and Evangelical Calvinist), I acknowledge that God calls us, that God does the work of salvation, and God ordains who is to be saved, but this does not negate the choice of man. (If this seems contradictory, please go back and read some of my posts on Wovenism, time, and the works of salvation). God created man with a choice. Obey and walk with me, or eat the fruit.

We have confused things in our modern day, and there seems to be a plurality of choices. There isn't. It really comes down to two choices, Trust God or trust yourself. In reality, every world religion is based upon human works. There are rules, laws, rituals, rights, duties, and obligations. In every world religion, man does work to get to god. In the Christian faith, God came to man in the person of Jesus. He died to redeem mankind of sin. We are offered the gift, we respond in faith, and are saved by the work of Jesus. It is not by work, effort, ritual, or law. We are saved by grace through faith.

It is pretty simple, who do you trust? Do you trust yourself to get it right? Do you trust yourself to keep the laws of God, to work and earn your way into eternity? Do you have the ability to please God by your own effort? Can you stand before God and demand Him to allow you into Heaven because of how good you have been? Can you do all that is required to get to Heaven? I am confident that I cannot, but I know that Jesus can. I can choose to trust Him, and allow Him to do the things in me I can't do for myself. I can't, but He can. He will and I have faith that I will spend eternity with Him.

Why You Should Read More (Specifically The Bible)

 My day job is as a High School teacher, specifically, I teach reading and comprehension skills. My focus is to help students who struggle in those areas gain skills and proficiency. I know that it is important for them for the rest of their lives. American (and most other societies) are based on the written word. We have books, we study books, we write things down, take notes. Even in the digital age things are written. Videos have scripts and captions and memes are a form of written satire. Even websites are written in code, and you have to know how to read and write that code to program. It is imperative that students are proficient readers once they graduate, and my goal is to get them there.

Unfortunately, we have seen growing apathy among many that reading and comprehension are no longer important. They see it as antiquated and obsolete. I assure you it is not (and I probably don't have to convince a blog reader that reading is important). We are now and in the near future will be a text-based civilization. It will be that way until some major technological breakthrough changes fundamentally how we learn, think, and communicate. We will not be moving away from the written word, even if it becomes digital. The email, text message, blog, and website will not be replaced anytime soon. 

With reading being an essential part of life, reading and good comprehension is key. For the Christian, it is even more important. God has chosen to reveal Himself to us through His Word. God became incarnate in Jesus, and we find His life, deeds, and words written in a book. The Bible is key to knowing God. We learn about the nature and character of God and about the work of Jesus through reading. We study and meditate on the word. We are commanded to know the word. The Bible is vital to the Christian life.

Let me implore you, do not neglect to read. Read the Bible, and read good Christian works. Read old books and new books. Read, and grow in your ability to read fluently and be able to think critically about what you have read. Being literate is critical and a tremendous gift. Read to your kids, grandkids, to people around you. Be involved with books and most importantly with the scripture. It is vital to living a successful Christian life!