Do You Know Who You Are?

 I have discovered something in my years of working with people. We have this strong desire to protect ourselves, our ego is very fragile. The person we are most afraid of is often ourselves. We are really scared of hurting our own psyche, and so we protect ourselves by lying to ourselves. Most people don't really know themselves. Here is a little test you can take.

First off, ask yourself, what types of movies do you like? What types of TV shows? What types of music? Have a good list? Good, now why are those your favorite? What things are triggered in you to make you like those things? What causes you to choose the people you call friends? What makes you like the colors you enjoy? What shapes your outlook? Most people have no idea why they like the things they like or see the world the way they do.

Want to go deeper? What are you really afraid of? What really gives you joy? What is the best thing in your life? What things in your life do you need to change or get rid of to live a better life? These are hard questions for most of us, we struggle to really know who we are, or more importantly, what drives and motivates us.

The problem with this is we seldom grow on our own to be better people. Most of the time, if we do improve it is because someone else pushes us. We need people who can see the things in us that we can't (or won't) see in our own lives. We need parents, teachers, leaders, bosses, managers, pastors, friends, and colleagues to really help us see who we really are. We need to acknowledge the fact that we lie to ourselves in order to protect ourselves. We wear a mask, we make-believe with ourselves. We try to pretend we are more than we are. . . to ourselves. Don't be afraid to admit you are flawed and broken. Don't be afraid you admit you can be better, and don't be afraid to try. The biggest and scariest step can be the step of being honest with yourself. Maybe it's time to take a moment to get to know the real you.

When Someone Is Hard On You

 There is a TV I use to watch called Scrubs. In the show, the attending doctor was really hard on the intern/resident. At one point during the show, the resident upsets the attending in a very personal way, and he is no longer harder on him. He doesn't give him a hard time, he doesn't insult him, he is simply polite. The young resident realized that the doctor no longer cares. He learns that the attending doctor was the way he was because he really saw potential in him and wanted to push him.

As a teacher, I find myself being hard on students because I see the potential. I push them and I am hard on them because I know what their capacity is. I want the students to push past their limits, to grow and get better. I think if I didn't care about my students, I wouldn't get frustrated, I wouldn't push them, I wouldn't be hard on them. I would just expect the bare minimum. 

Who is hard on you in your life? Who pushes you, expects more, challenges you? I hope that someone in your life sees the potential in you, who you can be, and not just who you are. We are all capable of being more, of being better, and of growth. You should never stop learning and getting better. Find someone who you push you to be a better version of yourself. Find someone you can encourage to be a better person.

Back to the Blog

Guess who's back, back again?
Dan is back with this blog and pen. 

Ok, there is no pen and I'm no Slim Shady. Many of you probably have no idea what that is even if reference too and that isn't a bad thing.

So I am back on the blog again. I have had quite the hiatus. Things are. . . not normal. You know that. With Covid restrictions and the new crazy world we live in, things are crazy. I am in my 3rd year of teaching, and it's been a new experience. We have some new curriculum and new software platforms. We are in the classroom, but sometimes quarantine raises its heads. It's been a never-ending transition. Combine that with the upcoming Presidental election and all the stuff that comes with that, added with the division in our country there is a lot of stress. It seems like we are on the verge of civil war some days. 

In the midst of everything happening, I have decided to blog again. If you are familiar with my blog, some of it is for me. It's an outlet, a platform, a place for me to unload. I write to help myself write and I write because I enjoy writing. I hope you enjoy reading and what I write is somewhat helpful. My goal is to be positive and encouraging, to not hit too much political or controversial stuff. This blog was mainly started as a theological posting, and I will try to stay with my roots as much as possible. I have some pretty strong views on the Christian faith as well as spirituality and the nature of man. I also really enjoy working with students and helping them as they grow and mature. As a life coach, I enjoy helping people find joy and passion in what they do. I hope to be able to write some things that help you feel empowered, find joy, and get focused in life. If you have any requests, shoot me an email at jdanbarnes@gmail.com.

I hope to be finishing up another book soon, so keep posted for that. My goal is to post at least 3 times a week. I have also toyed with the idea of a YouTube channel. Might be cool. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me over the last 12 years. I am hoping to rekindle my joy and having fun connecting with you all with this platform!

The Theology of Evangelism- From my book: Goal Driven Outreach

Don't turn back now by letting the word “theology” freak you out. Theology means the study of God and the things of God. It's important to understand what God has called us to do regarding Evangelism. We are here on earth as the ambassadors of Christ, left to preach and teach and make disciples. We must examine the mission of Jesus, the instructions He gave to His followers, and then follow in their footsteps. Don’t be overwhelmed with guilt and shame. You can do this. It’s easier than you think; you just have to get started.

 

Jesus came telling people to repent from sin. “Repent” means turning away and fleeing from something; to simply turn tail and run. The command is simple: follow God by trusting in Jesus and living by faith. On a couple of different occasions, Jesus sent His followers out to share. In Matthew 10, He sent the twelve disciples to proclaim “the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand” and to heal the sick, raise the dead, and cast out demons. They went from town to town doing this, and proclaiming to all Israel that hope had arrived. The people of Israel would understand. The Jews were waiting for the Messiah, the anointed one.  Jesus had come and the disciples spread the news that Jesus had come to save them.

 

The second time, Jesus sends out 72 of His followers into towns preceding His visit. The message was the same: “The Kingdom of God has come near to you”, meaning that the Messiah (or, Christ in Greek), the one sent by God to save the people, had arrived. He was coming to their town and they needed to be ready. The promised Savior had come.

 After the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, He sent out His followers again, but this time their mission was permanent. This is “The Great Commission”, and it's important for all of us to understand.

 “Jesus came and told his disciples, ‘I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age’.” Matthew 28:18-20.

 The command to go given by Jesus could be translated “while you are on your way”, or “as you go”. Jesus basically said to bear witness of His salvation and make disciples as you go through life. He did not call us to quit our jobs, sell everything, and move to the international mission field. God calls some to that specific work, but for others it’s simple. Go to work, go to school, go to the store, and go about your life. And as you go to these places, talk about your faith, share it with others, tell them the Good News, and pray for them.

The reality about sharing our faith is this: if we don’t, who will? If you knew something that would save someone’s life, would you tell them? If the building you were in caught fire, would you sound the alarm? If you could save someone from death, would you? Most would say “of course”, but talking about Salvation is difficult for many. We don’t think often about death or the people around us dying. We seldom stop to consider what would happen if those people died. It’s easy to just assume everyone will be fine and all will end up in Heaven. Sadly, this isn’t the case. Jesus said, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.” (Matthew 7:13). In verse 14, He continues, “But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” It is hard to accept that many people are going to hell because of their choices; because the hardness of their hearts make them unwilling to turn to Christ. 

 The fact that few find the path to Salvation shouldn’t keep us from sharing, it should encourage us to share all the more. We don’t want to be the reason someone missed Heaven. Sometimes the difference between eternity in paradise or an eternity of torment is a few words from a friend. Giving someone hope, sharing love, and reaching out can make a giant difference. The theology of Evangelism is simple; summed up in John 3:16, that God loves the world of humanity and sent Jesus to save it. Jesus has returned to the Father, and now it’s our job to bring His hope to the world. We must have love and compassion for the world, to see it like Jesus did. Evangelism isn’t about packing out an arena, having a bunch of people at church, winning a prize, or being noticed and esteemed. It’s about love and compassion for the world that is trapped in sin, mired in selfishness, prisoners to unrighteousness, and needing help getting out. They need Jesus, and we have the opportunity to share with them. As you go, will you share what God has given you?

Why I Am Not Protesting Mr. Floyd

The death of Mr. Floyd was tragic, unnecessary, criminal, and repulsive. It is not different than the death of any innocent individual. Mr. Floyd was created in the image of God, he a valuable part of his community and he played an important part in his community. His loss will be felt and cause hurt and hardship. It was wrong, and if you feel like protest is the appropriate answer, I encourage you to protest. If you feel like shouting at the top of our lungs, please use your freedom. You are within your rights, you can and you should. I feel for me that protest is not the correct answer, and I want to share with you why. You are free to disagree, the dialogue is what is valuable. This is me sharing my thoughts and feelings, not a condemnation on peaceful protest.

I myself am not protesting because of what I feel is the purpose and function of protest. During the civil rights movement, the protests were against policies, laws, and rules set by organizations, businesses, civic groups, and governments. Segregation and discrimination were mandated as rules. The laws and policies were wrong and unjust and needed to be changed. The protests were aimed at getting organizations to change the rules and governments to change the law. The problem was with establishments, set policies that needed amendment or abolishment. It took a long time and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, but eventually, it prevailed. That is not to say that racism is gone, but discrimination is now illegal. It is not condoned or sanctioned by the government, in fact, it is a crime. Systematic organizational racism was addressed by protest.

Today, what we are experiencing is not systematic institutional racism. Police departments do not have a set of rules on how to deal with minorities vs white people. Police Officers who abuse or murder minorities, including blacks, do not do so under the direction or orders of the department. It's not a case of the police department being racist or corrupt. The problem is with individuals. This is not an institutional problem, but a cultural one. It's cultural inside of police departments, it doesn't come from the chief or the government, it exists inside of the police department, with the officers and I am willing to bet they are unaware it is even there.

First, police officers deal with the worst parts of society. They deal with criminals every day. That is their job. Most cops are good people, but the reality is, if you are a hammer, eventually everything looks like a nail. After years of being treated badly, being disrespected by those you are arresting and often bystanders, you can get burned out. Cops begin to see people are problems and not people. We need to have counseling programs built into the police force and it needs to be a priority. We need to help police officers deal with frustration, anger, and resentment they feel. The cops who can't deal with these emotions need to be removed. Some people just aren't cut out to be cops. If you are prone to anger, impatient, or have a big ego, being a cop is not the job for you.

The second problem is the underlying cultural belief that black men are violent. If you Google it, you will find articles, books, and a ton of research papers written on this fact. The media has portrayed black men as violent. If you see a movie with a thug, a drug dealer, a gang member, a thief, or a mugger in a back alley, they are normally black men. There are parts of black culture that idolize violence as part of the culture, primarily rap music. The gangster rap music industry is predominantly black men who are capitalizing on the image of violence. This industry is then imitated by young men, many of who are black. All this leads to the view that black men are violent. When you take a police officer who has been disrespected and harassed, who has a bit of an ego problem and a chip on their shoulder, combined with an underlying view that black men are violent, the perfect recipe exists for disaster. It happens too much.

Now understand, I'm not making excuses for anyone. I'm just pointing out the ingredients that are put together that cause the reaction. It's not excusable for a cop to kill an unarmed man because he is angry. He needs to deal with that anger. The cop was responsible for his actions, and he needs to be held accountable, but we have to understand that parts of society that needs to change. I'm a realist and pragmatic, I know that the gangster rap industry isn't going to change. There are parts of the community, black, white, latino, and asian who are going to embrace violence. We can't go out there and expect criminals to stop being criminals. We can be real, some people are violent. So, the pragmatist in me asks, what do we do about it?

The first thing I do is look around. Do I have relationships with a diverse group of people? Do I know black men, or am I getting all my opinions about black men from TV and the radio? The black men I know are not violent, they are not thugs. They are husbands, fathers, they work hard and they support their families. They are caring and kind and good guys. This helps me to have a picture of the black community that isn't the Hollywood version. I can see that black men are not inherently violent.

Second, I notice that there are some in the media that are portraying black men as violent consistently. They are perpetuating the stereotype. I turn that off. I stop supporting that media because it isn't helping me. Next, I see what politicians are using race and divisive tactics to cause division and mistrust in my community. I don't vote for those people, in fact, I support candidates who promote unity. I want to have a community that is made up of individuals who identify by location and commonality, not a fractured community made up of pockets of homogenous ethnic groups. I make sure I have diversity and I want a community that has diversity so I can learn and grow as an individual.

Third, I teach the things I know. I teach English, so I teach diverse literature. I teach Langston Huges, I teach Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou. I teach short stories that are from a variety of cultural and ethnic backgrounds. I teach students a picture that is diverse so they don't get all their information from the rap music industry. I teach the value of community, of a diverse community, and the importance of learning and growing outside of your own little bubble. I model this for my students, for my children, and for my community. I acknowledge that I have some priveledges that as a white man I am not viewed as violent and I don't carry the stigma that many in the black or hispanic community must shoulder. I also acknowledge that not every black man is the same. One of my black friends may have to deal with problems because of where they live or work. Another black friend may not deal with it and doesn't feel targeted. We can't put people into categories based on skin color. It doesn't matter if it's good, bad, or indifferent when we decide that "all black me" or "all white men" are like this or that, we are contributing to the problem. Every man is his own man.

Finally, I share my thoughts. I will be honest, as a white male, I am afraid to say much. The reason is that I have been told over the years that I can't contribute to the conversation because I have no value. I have no voice to talk about issues that exist in our society. I am white so I can't talk about issues involving the black community. I am a man, so I can't deal with issues of abortion or birth control or rape. I have been pushed to the side because I am not valued. We have torn down community to race and gender and individual identity. No problem is solved this way. No problem is solved by silencing one side or one group. No issue is resolved by control or subversion, and the individuals who propose this method are intellectually dishonest, cowardly, and morally wrong. The issues can not be solved by simply flipping the scales. You cannot trade one problem for another, and I promise you if we don't come together and solve this issue together as a community, it will never be solved. They will never get better if we don't abandon identity politics and utilizing methods that divide and cause deeper division. We need real and solid answers and telling a man who is white that they have no voice because they are white is increasing the divide. It is morally bankrupt to cause deeper division. I am choosing to say something, even though I will be told I have no place, no right. I will probably be called a racist. There is another issue about that, but I will not focus on that today. This post is long enough so I will end with this. A TV personality named Red Green has a simple quote that if we can live by, we will see things improve 100 fold. "Remember, I'm putting for ya, we're all in this together."

Covid Thrives Because Our Communities Dies

I know the title seems counter-intuitive, but if you let me explain, it will all make sense. Many of the issues we have with this pandemic are due to the fact that we no longer have communities. We have given up community life for a qazi-global outlook. Let's examine the reality of what happens in a dead community, but first, let's recap how it dies.

The first stage of death was retail. The small grocer, the mom and pop store on the corner. The corner drug store, the town hardware, the 5 and dime, they are all gone. Replaced first my the Supermarket, then by the Big Box store. Walmart, Costco, Target, Home Depot, the list goes on. All these big chain retail stores are easy to shop, easy to get all your things and get out. The drawback, the clerk doesn't know your name. The guy at the meat counter, if they don't have a meat counter or the produce department. They don't know you. Most people at these stores don't even go to a checker, they use the self check out. The small store couldn't compete with Sam Waldon's monstrosity and many of them are long gone.

The second nail is when we decided that the megachurch was the best way to do church. We go to churches of 500+ and they are getting rid of the things that use to connect us. Many of them are throwing away Sunday School, moving to small groups, which is simply the peer groups who are connected anyway. The Sunday school programs that survived are not done in a way that connects people. We sit in rows, watch things on a screen, are treated to a concert with lights and cool effects. We hear a message and we leave. Gone are the days of the small church that is under 100 that still has potluck. We can't afford to pay a pastor and purchase a building anymore for a small church, the community church has been priced out. Bigger is the only way to preserve the model of church we have in America. Unless we want to change the model, and church folks aren't good at change, the big and megachurch will be the only way we can pay for our buildings, pastoral staff, and utilities. With it, a little more community dies.

Much like the issues with the local church, gone are the neighborhood schools. We use to walk to school because there was an elementary school in every neighborhood. They are where the community met for PTO meetings, concerts, and parent-teacher conferences. When my children started school in town, they were in a small community school. That school is gone and now there is a big school which merged three schools together. It saved the district a lot of money, but it cost more of community. Now the gyms are packed out for concerts and appointments are made for conferences. It's become the same nameless sea of faces that church and stores have become. The big mass of people has taken away our chances to really connect with our neighbors because these are people from four different neighborhoods.

This building a bigger institution has wrecked our sense of community. Add to it the automatic garage door opener and streaming video services like Netflix, we don't sit outside. We stopped connecting and we are raising a generation who don't know how to connect. We have increasing sex trafficking and child abduction that we don't want our kids to talk to anyone we don't know. We don't know our neighbors, so we don't talk to them. We have become suspicious and the neighborhood watch is replaced by video doorbells so we can keep an eye on the neighbors. We don't come out of our sanctuary, we are so focused on our electronic devices that we don't know the people next door. We often lose connection with the people in our homes.

Now, when something like the Corona Virus, or Covid-19 hits, the breakdown of community because obvious in a couple of ways. First, we don't trust the people around us and we have to make sure we are taken care of. We don't stop to think about others as we buy every roll of toilet paper on the shelves. We don't consider others as we stock up for 6 months, and people who don't have the financial means or are unable to get out can't get basic necessities. We are so concerned about taking care of ourselves that we don't stop and consider others. Their faces never come to mind because we don't know them. We don't consider them, we don't care about them. We just want to take care of ourselves.

After we buy everything, we choose to do what we want, when we want. I saw a report on the beaches full of college students at Spring Break. They were asked why they ignored the quarantine, and they basically said they didn't care and just wanted to have fun and party. They only care about having fun, only care about themselves. More and more young people only care about themselves, they have no sense of obligation to the community. The reason is, they don't know anything about what community looks like. They have grown up shopping in a giant store, attending a giant school, going to a giant church and not knowing anyone outside of their Snapchat list. They are disconnected from the people all around them. Naturally, they don't care about these people, they haven't learned empathy or compassion. They are raised by the people hoarding toilet paper. They are raised by price gougers. They live in a world where slavery and sex trafficking is a real concern and fear. Society has stopped being civilized and community is gone. We have seen it play out when a crisis hit. You see it on the news every night.

Normally, this would be the time where I write a solution. Sadly I don't have one. We can't fix the schools or the churches, the small shops are gone and are not coming back. The world has changed and until our society comes to the point of self-destruction, it will stay this way. Perhaps Western Civilization will fall apart, much like the Roman Empire. Perhaps we will all reset and go back to a community lifestyle. Maybe we will exist in the Hunger Games or some other dystopian society will bring back a sense of community. Maybe something will turn us around, but on the track, we are on, I see little hope for us now. May God have mercy on our selfish souls.

A Modern American Reformation? Maybe It's Time

     As I begin, you need to know something about me. I'm a nobody. I have no status or position. The church I'm currently a member of won't let me do anything. Almost 20 years of ministry experience, a seminary degree and I have volunteered for almost everything, and do nothing. The last church I was on staff at said I wasn't cut out to be a pastor. I wasn't tough enough, strong enough, and I probably should have gone through Basic Training to learn how to be a real man. I am currently a teacher at a small school in rural Iowa. I have no position. I have written books that no one reads, the fact that you are even reading my blog is pretty amazing. I'm a nobody. The fact I would be calling for a reformation is pretty laughable since it's pretty clear no one really cares much about what I think.
     I do have the unique position of being a fixture in the local church almost all of my life. I began serving on committees at the age of 16. I had my first employment at a church at 18. I was a pastor at 23, served as a pastor, youth pastors, associate pastor, college missionary, I've led worship (which was bad) and oversaw the installation of an educational building. I've done a lot.....

but

I'm an introvert. I struggle with depression. I never played football or baseball or hockey. I never served in the military. I don't yell or get really emotional. I question convention, I'm abstract, I don't always follow the status quo. I think if it's in the Bible, we should do it, but we need to actually study the Bible and not expect people to follow Jewish rules that fit our social ideology but ignore the ones that don't (tattoos and mixed fabrics). I can be stubborn, and I don't like to lose an argument. Moreover, I'm not dark and handsome (I'm sort of tall) and I don't have a voice that draws people in. I have the kind of face people can say "no" too. All things considered, I guess I don't have what it takes to be a Pastor in our modern church culture. I am willing to admit, my call for reformation may come out of the fact that I've been beaten up by the local church. Maybe it's just me being upset, or maybe the fact that anyone is beaten up by the local church is the problem.
    When I was serving in Arizona (with a great pastor who has similar struggles), I was fortunate to run a coffee house church that was in the evenings that had a specific goal. Provide a place for post-church people. These are people with a church background who left the church, because the church hurt them. There are lots of these people. Lots. What is worse than the fact the church is churning these people out by the truckloads is the church refuses to take any responsibility.
     The church is the manifest, incarnational representation of Jesus on the earth at this moment. If someone is seeking God, we tell them to go to church. At church, we are told that the people are the church, that the church is the body of Christ, the ambassadors of Jesus, the hands and feet. The church represents God. Then, the people in the church, the body, the hands, and feet, do something hateful and hurtful to someone. They are cruel and mean spirited. The person leaves the church, and the people of the church say "if you leave because of the people, you weren't really here for God". If they were at the church for God, but not the people, we would have another monastic movement (people becoming monks and living alone). I don't need a room full of people to find God, and the way the church talks about the people they damage is arrogant.
     I know, I know, your church is loving, right? I'm sure most of the churches believe they are, but did you know that restaurant wait staff hate working Sunday lunch? Do you know why? They say people coming from church are rude, impatient, entitled and lousy tippers. They say things like "I refuse to give God 10% and a waiter 15%". It's not isolated, and it's one of the big reasons that the church is shrinking. Outsiders hate the church, the people inside and their attitudes. People who use to be at church every week now can't set foot. They have anxiety.
     Remember that I said I have depression? I don't have anxiety, but lately, at church, I have anxiety. It has been incredibly difficult for me not to feel like I have been rejected by God. Maybe I have, maybe I am like King Saul and God has rejected me. The churches I have been active at in the city where I now live have told me I can't serve. I can sit there, be quiet and listen, but that is all. I'm not good enough to use all the things I spent my late teens, 20s and 30s learning, developing and growing. I'm not good enough to serve God in the local church. I'm not alone. A friend of mine who left a denomination he felt was not Biblically faithful came to our church. He was smart, he was articulate, and he had some issues with some things. He wanted to see a new reformation too, and he pointed out people in the church who were not following the teachings of the Bible. Needless to say, it wasn't long before he was no longer at church. I'll let you do the math.
     Let's be honest, the church in America has become about the church. Members of the church want to be happy and comfortable and not change anything. There are jokes all over the internet about churches who refuse to change. It's only funny 'cause it's true. I was part of a church that did a "reboot". It's pretty ironic if I reboot my computer, it turns off and then turns back on exactly the same way it was before. It doesn't change or upgrade because of a reboot. It just turns off and starts back up again, exactly the same. Sure, we have added some new tech toys, but the church doesn't change. It pretty much looks the same as it did in the time of Jesus when the Pharisees ran it.
     Now, I'm sure that several people, if they really read this far, are pretty annoyed. I'm sure I'll get called weak and soft and I need to suck it up, be a company man or a team player or a good soldier. It's nothing new, I've heard it all before. Like I said, I've been systematically rejected, and I'm a nobody. There are lots of nobodies like me who don't want to attend your churches anymore. We aren't impressed with your bands, your covers of the latest Christian songs from Klove. We don't need your trendy sermons. If I wanted good music and a powerful sermon, I have the entire internet at my disposal. I don't need good content. I have good content everywhere I look. I have books, podcasts, radio stations, smartphone apps. I need to be connected, and when you amputated me, then expected me to stay in proximity to the body and expect me to live. . . . . I think you get the idea. It's no wonder I'm feeling rotten. I don't want to go to church. I wanted to be the church, but I wasn't good enough for you. If the modern American church wants to change that, there are plenty of us who will be waiting.