Fearless by Max Lucado

Fear seems to be a major issue for many Christians, and Max Lucado tackles the issue head on. Fearless is a great read, and like most of Lucado's books it flows quickly. What I enjoyed about this book that I haven't like so much in his others is that it's more practical. There is more application, more opportunity to apply and live out the principles. We all have issues with fear, and we can all grow in the area of living out of trust and faith. It's a quick read, I think you should pick up a copy, give it a quick read, it's worth the time. I have always been a Lucado fan, and this book I think it one of his better ones.

Do you want to be happy? I have been realizing how much I worship happiness. We all want to be happy, after all the American dream is the pursuit of happiness. Happiness has become an idol and we work so hard for it. We do all we can to be happy. We get married because the person makes us happy. We find a job that makes us happy, we find activities that make us happy. What happens when we become unhappy? What are you willing to give up for happiness? What do you keep because you think it will make you happy? Are you willing to break God's laws for happiness? If so, then I would say you worship happiness. I do, and I'll admit it. I struggle when I am not happy, work hard to be happy. It can destroy us, this strong desire to be happy and fulfilled.

What we need instead is hope. Hope when we are happy that we will have a time in eternity when it's always like that. Hope when we are unhappy that Jesus still holds us and it will all be set right one day. Hope when we are doing well, hope when we are down. Hope is stable, we can hold to it all the time, and it's grounded in Christ. Happiness is un-stable, it comes and goes like the wind. Hope is a solid rock.

More than that, Jesus never said to have happiness, He said to have hope. Hope is better, hope is more fulfilling. We need to pursue hope, hold to hope, cling to hope and thank God that we have hope. We have hope in our faith, in our salvation, and in the return of our Lord and Savior. We hope for Heaven, we hope for the salvation of our friends and family, and we hope for real, lasting and loving relationships. We hope in the body of Christ and we hope in the work and power of the Holy Spirit.

I am trying not to sell myself to happiness. It's a fleeting feeling, it's a cruel master and it's a controlling dictator. Just when I think I have it, it slips away and I can't hold it. Happiness is a tease, it's unfaithful, and it's never dependable. Happiness is selfish and self serving, and the pursuit of happiness destroy people, homes and families. How many people have walked away from things because they weren't happy? What would have happened if they would have looked for hope, hope that it can be better, that God can work and bring joy.

Joy. Joy is a tricky subject cause we don't really know what it is. We often equate joy with happiness or we make joy something so nebulous that it's hard to pin down. I think when we have hope we have joy. I think hope and joy come together, and I am not sure you can have one without the other. Joy may come as peace, fulfillment, finding your place and purpose. Finding your place in the Body of Christ. We find joy in community and we find hope in that same community. We come together, broken, flawed and hurting. We take turns treating one another's wounds. We encourage one another, teach one another and support one another. We hope in one another and learn to trust one another. Happiness is selfish and doesn't trust, joy and hope brings community. I need community, I need other people. I admit I am weak and I need help and I have hope. I hold to hope and it's so much better than holding to happiness. Don't get me wrong, I love to be happy and I'll take it when it comes, but it can be my focus. I can't worship it, I can't chase, I can't give my life to it. I have to trust Christ and have hope in the words that He tells me in His word. To trust Him, that He will come back and get me and I can have hope.

I have hope in the promises and hope in the faith. I can't see God, and I have never seen a angel or a pillar of fire, but I have my life. I have my heart, my walk, the ability to do things I can't do on my own. The ability to love and trust and have hope. That doesn't come from me, I am selfish and angry inside, but I have peace. It only comes from the Holy Spirit, and I have hope that He will continue to work in me and through me to change me. I have hope that His love will become my love and fill and over take the anger and bitterness that comes from losing the happiness I feel like I deserve.

Hope. Do you have hope? I sure hope so.

Too much brain

So I like thinking, analysis and rationalizing stuff. I enjoy talking through and thinking through some issues, but I have found a big hole recently. Sometimes we use too much brain and not enough faith. Let me unpack that a little. There are things that the scriptures say that we don't fully want to agree with, so we gloss over them to just superimpose what we want to believe. Most of what we want to think is secular, humanistic and usually pretty prideful and pride filled. I hear too many people say "well I just don't believe that" and when faced with a scripture, they just blow it off. It seems to me that more and more we are ok with minimizing scripture in favor of what we want to think and what we want to believe. As long as it makes sense to us, even if it's different from our own experience, we tend to hold too it. We humanize God, we secularize the processes of God and make God more like us, instead of becoming more like God.

Sometimes we need to trust that what the Bible says is true, even if we don't understand it. We need to trust that God is doing things which are outside of the confines of our knowledge and understanding. The ways and purposes of God are eternal, and how can we as finite people understand. There is a time for intellect and understanding, but there is a time to trust that what the Bible teaches is true, regardless to our feelings about it.

Writing

I sit down every day with the intent to write a blog. Then I decide to get a cup of coffee and things come up. Phone calls, visitors, things that need to be taken care of, questions to answer and before long, my day is over and I haven't blogged at all. I feel like there are thousands of things I want to write about, but never get it done. I have 2 books in my head waiting to be put down on paper, but they never seem to make it. I have some Bible Studies for The Revolution Inversion that I need to write, but things always seem to come up in front of them. There are lots and lots of things I want to discuss and discover, but it seems life gets in the way.

You ever feel like that? You ever feel like life is in the way of really living? Books to be read, things to get done, quality time to spend, things to do or say that never seem to get done? I wonder if it's our ego that makes the list, or just the reality of the world that keeps us from them. Seems like for every thing we get done, there are 3 more waiting in the wings. Are you there with me? Having things to do that never seem to get done? Well, hang in there, you are not alone. Hopefully, we will get there together. . . someday.

Know Thyself

This is an issue that I tend to harp on quite a bit. The reason is because I don't think very many people actually know who they really are. I think there are several reasons for that, first, because we live in darkness. I'm not talking about the lack of light type of darkness, but spiritual darkness. Even Christians I believe often come out of the darkness but stay in the shadows. We view ourselves under false pretenses, either what we do, who we are, how much we make, how we dress, how much we attend church, the list goes on and on. We may accept that we are saved by grace, but often we live by our own works, and in our own power. We don't see ourselves in light of who we really are, who we were created to be, how God made us, loves us.

The second part is I think we are ignorant. We have ideas, thoughts and theories about God, life, the past and the future and we have no interest in letting go of our false ideals. We hold to our ideologies that are often like a carnival mirror. These false ideals of how we view the world distort the world and distort how we see ourselves. Sometimes we flatter ourselves, but I think more often than that, we condemn ourselves. We compare ourselves to the ideal, people who don't really exist. Often time to escape, we begin to idealize ourselves, and begin to think more of ourselves. In either case, we think too little or too much of ourselves, we don't really know ourselves.

I think all of this culminates in society where we are expected to be like other people. I have noticed in the trend of the giant sunglasses that girls wear, I have a theory about why they are so popular (cause they are so ugly). They cover up so much of your face, that you look like everyone else when you wear them. It doesn't matter that they are hideous, it matters that you look like you are suppose to look in society. We are expected to conform, to blend, to dress the same, talk the same and act the same as the group we are with, and often we are not even truthful enough with ourselves to admit to it.

It happens most of all in the church. Simple things like what version of the Bible we use can be influenced by where we go to church. What we sing, and how we worship. Do you stand, sit, raise your hands, fall down, roll around, vibrate, laugh, cry or handle snakes? It depends on what sort of church (or strange cult group) you are in. If affects the way we do lots of things, but when we understand who we are, we can begin to act in and through the way God made us. In the next few weeks, months, years (sometimes I am slow on the blog) I want to talk about some avenues where we need to learn who we are. This, as well as some more woven theology and the rest of my big deal. Hope you keep reading and commenting with me.

Christian Hackers?

So I wanted a documentary last night (yes on purpose) about Linux. It was called Revolution OS and if you are into nerdy stuff like that, you would enjoy it. You see, Linux is an operating system, like Microsoft Windows, but with a major difference. It's part of 2 movements that have sprung off each other. The first is called the Free Software Movement, started by a guy who worked on some software called gnu. The goal of the Free Software Movement was to be able to share, to give the needed tools away along with the source code so that others can improve upon it and then share it with others. When Linux hit the scene, it helped spawn the Open Source Movement. Open Source is similar to Free Software, only if I take the source code of a Linux OS, like Ubuntu and I change the source code and rewrite some of it, I can then rename it to like jdanlinux and distribute it, I just need to give credit to Ubuntu for their work. Some of the linux systems are for purchase, most are free.

So, what you are asking yourself is, what does that have to do with Christianity? You see, the individuals who are anti-open source are companies like Microsoft who have a corner on the market, have closed source and proprietary software (Microsoft stuff only works in Windows). You have to play by Window's rules, and the code is closed, so if you want to change the software to meet certain needs, you are out of luck. You just have to hope Microsoft will. On the other hand, in the Open Source and Free Software camps, you are free to change and adapt. For example, there was a program called Bison that ran in C. A guy needed it to run in C++, so he re-wrote some code and created Bison++. They gain advantage by sharing ideas, by helping, supporting and sharing, while Microsoft lacks this advantage.

For the better part of the last century, the Church has been Microsoft. It has been run from the inside, many have a very top down structure and it's closed. The end users (people in the pews) had very little ability to make changes, only to choose to attend or not attend a church. This has hit a climax now in the 21st century when we have created a generation of church hoppers, shoppers and many who would rather just stay home and watch church on tv. They have been fed up with the closed system, coming to a room with a bunch of people they never connect with.

The church is beginning to see it, they are moving closer. The Small Group/cell group movement is pushing closer to the community aspect, but what I have noticed is that these hackers have the idea of community down better than the church. The software community works better than the Christian community. This community truly wants to connect, share, interact and help and support one another. It's based on giving and sharing and helping others. That is what Jesus taught for us to do, to give and share and help, but so often we are shamed by these other communities.

Perhaps it's because the tech industry in better at change than the church. Maybe it's because the tech movement is moving so much faster than the church. I think when it really comes down to it, Free Software and Open Source work so much better because they are less paranoid than the church, they are not as concerned with control, with manipulation and who the "leader" is. As we see the small church/organic church model begin to take off, we will see the church and the tech market begin to look more and more alike. The focus will be on the community, on the body and not so much on the individual.

1 A.M.

Do you ever have the greatest thoughts at like 1 am and then lose it by the time you are ready to blog? That is totally my life. I sat around last night and thought about all the stuff I wanted to blog about, and I almost came down to blog it, but I didn't. Now I am sitting here in the couch and I can't remember for the life of me what it was I was going to say.

I am trying to adjust to my life with a neurological disorder. For those of you who read my blog and don't know (which I know is many of you), I have dystemic disorder. Dystemic disorder is related to bi-polar, but it only goes one direction. It's also called mono-polor, people who are dystemic either go manic or depressive. I get depressed. I have struggled with depression my whole life. I remember being depressed at 17 and 18 and not even understanding that I was depressed. I was depressed at 24 but in total denial. I was depressed at 28 and 29, but by that time I admitted it.

I struggle with the diagnoses and the idea of being flawed, of having nothing I can do about it is not the problem. It's the stigma of depression. It's like the Christian community believes that if you have Jesus, you should never be depressed. Anti-depressants are seen as little pills of no-faith, and I struggle with that. I guess it comes down that I worry too much what people think of me.

So the issue became pride and self centered-ness. I care too much what people thing, want to please people and do all the things that get me kudos. If God gave me this burden to carry, I should share it with the community, but I don't. It makes me wonder how large my Christian community really is. Perhaps it's not as big as I would like to think it is. As you read this, I hope it grows a little (knowing the community of folks who reads my blog is pretty small). I hope this confession helps you and inspires you a little in your own struggle with whatever your burden is.